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Weaponised incompetence is a subtle and passive manipulation tactic that is intended to keep you doing the majority of physical and emotional labour in your relationship.

Perhaps at some point in your relationship, you have found yourself exasperated at your partner’s inability or lack of desire to perform a task to standard or at all. Perhaps you were exasperated and finally said, ‘fine, I’ll do it myself.’

When this behaviour from a partner becomes a pattern, it is called ‘weaponised incompetence.’ Weaponised incompetence is a subtle form of gas-lighting where an individual will pretend not to know how to perform a task or will deliberately perform it poorly. As a result, they expect you to become frustrated and do it yourself, avoiding relying on them for assistance in the future.

It is normal for couples to have disagreements and find that their priorities sometimes don’t align. However, suppose you find that this behaviour is so prevalent that you cannot rely on your partner to perform basic tasks daily or weekly. In that case, you may be experiencing weaponised incompetence.

For example, it could be that you are extremely busy at work, but the house is in a state of disarray. Feeling stressed, you think a clean environment will help alleviate your stress. So, seeking support, you ask your partner to clean the bathroom. In response, they either make a big fuss over how they never do it the way you do and don’t know all the special products to use. You might even hear phrases like “you’re better at it than I am; how about I just take out the rubbish instead?” Or they may reluctantly do it after some pushing but do such a poor job that you have to go back and clean it yourself anyway.

While your partner may not always be explicitly trying to manipulate you into taking over, this is ultimately what this behaviour forces you to do.

Another example might be asking your husband to ‘watch the kids’ while you finally get a break, only to come back to mess and chaos that you will ultimately clean up. So, it ends up making your ‘break’ hardly worth it at all, and next time, you don’t bother scheduling one.

Imbalance of emotional labour

If this is a common occurrence in your relationship, it is not miscommunication but gaslighting. Weaponised incompetence is intended to ensure that one person can be relied upon to take on the physical and even emotional labour in the partnership.

As a result, the person taking on all of the work and acting as the glue in the relationship can experience stress and extreme burnout. In addition, this kind of emotional stress can result in resentment and discontent further down the line.

If you are not supported and your needs are not being met on any level, you are not in a partnership and may feel more like you are a caretaker.

Weaponised incompetence is a subtle manipulation that works because it exploits your emotions and desire to help your partner. It plays on nuances in your relationship and generally says, “I’m not capable and I need you to help me.’ And, of course, you comply. You love your partner, value your home, respect the lives you have together, and do not want them to suffer through anything. And therein lies the danger of weaponised incompetence.

Battle of the sexes

While weaponised incompetence can occur in any relationship, it seems to be most prominent in cishet (straight-identifying male-female partnerships) relationships. In most cases, the male partner will use weaponised incompetence on the female partner. This can be easily done, as women are already conditioned to nurture and oversee the wellbeing of those around them.

Entrenched gender norms, patriarchal values and casual sexism are all things that contribute to heterosexual relationships being most susceptible to weaponised incompetence.

Communication is key

The only way to deal with weaponised incompetence is to tackle it head on. Communication is the best way to do this. Explain to your partner what is happening and how it makes you feel. Explain exactly why it is that you need this support in order for your relationship to thrive in the long term.

It could be that while your partner is using this tactic, maybe they don’t entirely mean to. Perhaps they genuinely feel incompetent, have anxiety, depression, or lack self-confidence with certain roles and responsibilities.

Try come up with household schedules and rosters. This can be helpful if your partner genuinely wants to help, but needs some assistance gaging where to start. A schedule stops you from asking them to do specific tasks on a daily basis. It will allow them to take the initiative to check the roster daily.

If you find your partner to be entirely unresponsive even with tools like this, couples therapy may be necessary.

The Long-term effects

Weaponised incompetence can slowly destroy your sanity, damage your relationship, result in burnout and send unhealthy messages to any children you may have. So often, when couples are at the point where they are seeking relationship counselling or considering separation, there isn’t one single issue that has caused this. Instead, it is an accumulation of minor resentments or a general lack of support that can only be identified in small tasks that are being overlooked daily.

If you sometimes find that doing it yourself is more manageable than relying on your partner, you may want to examine how and why this is happening and if it is a case of weaponised incompetence.

It is never fair or sustainable for one person alone to carry the weight of all the domestic responsibility. Moreover, the mental load and emotional labour that comes with doing this can cause exhaustion, emotional dissatisfaction, and the breakdown of a relationship in the long-term. If you have made it this far, it is worth talking to your partner about your needs and worries and, if necessary, seeking counselling.

 

Going back to school each year is an important milestone that can be exciting with some organisation.

It is the time of year when the lazy post-Christmas feeling slowly ebbs away and before you know it, back to school is just around the corner. It sneaks up every year and suddenly, there is an endless list of preparation, shopping and scheduling to be done.

This can be overwhelming for even the most Zen and organised among us. So, if even the thought of back-to-school shopping has already got you panicking, don’t worry, we have compiled a handy checklist below.

Not only will this keep you sane and on top of it all but it will hopefully make the experience less daunting for the kids.

First things first

First, we recommend getting your hands on a 2022 diary that you can use exclusively for school. In this diary, you can track school events, carnivals, meetings and extracurricular activities and things you may need to re-purchase throughout the year. Keeping all school-related things in one specific organised diary can be helpful as it means you won’t lose essential events in your calendar or notes app on your phone.

Then, pencil in all of the following:

  • Pre-school doctors’ appointments
  • Sign up for any music classes or sports classes
  • Sign up for any school clubs your kids may want to be a part of so they don’t miss out
  • Sort through school uniforms and see if they need new ones
  • List down all important term dates
  • Draw up a daily morning checklist for lunches and bag-packing
  • Make a weekly school supply shopping list for lunch and draw up some meal plans
  • Sign up for any after school care programmes
  • Alternatively, make private arrangements for after school care
  • Book haircuts
  • New school shoe fittings

To keep things extra organised and ensure every day has a good flow, it can be good to set up a special “school zone” for the kids to get ready in. This could be in the hallway and is just a space where the kids can put their backpacks and take out their empty lunch bags water bottles when they get home.

Next, set up a study space or desk area that has an ‘inbox’ and ‘outbox.’ Set up two paper organisers or pigeonhole organisers where your child can put their school hands-outs from their teacher.

Additionally, now is an excellent time to start getting your kids to transition to earlier bedtimes and earlier breakfasts!

Keep the kids organised

We can tend to forget that each school year is yet another transition for kids and something that might be difficult. Keeping kids organised and prepared is a good way to ease stress for them too.

  • Lunch boxes and lunch bags
  • Metal re-usable water bottle
  • Backpack
  • Backpack name tags
  • School tote bag for when they want to take additional things to school such as library books or sports uniforms

Stationary

  • Pencils/pens
  • Rubber
  • Notebooks
  • Graph and grid books
  • Pencil sharpener
  • Glue stick
  • Ruler
  • Set of colouring pencils
  • Pencil case to store all of the above
  • Sticky back plastic for covering books

Extras

  • Sticky labels for books and belongings
  • Highlighters
  • Wrap and stick clothing labels
  • Sunscreen
  • Face masks and hand sanitiser
  • safety scissors
  • Math set
  • Pidgeon-hole organisers for home
  • Adhesive notes
  • Study cards
  • Decorative book covers
  • Laptop and USB hard drive

Lastly, the best way to tie this all together is to incorporate the kids. Have a fun school prep day to decorate their school notebooks with decorative paper and name tags. Then, sort the stationary and pack the pencil cases with everything they need. Make sure this is packed at least the day before school starts; the earlier, the better for your peace of mind.

Whether it is your first time preparing a little one for school or your sixth year in a row, there is always something that may fall by the wayside and it is important to not be hard on yourself. As organised as you may try to be, don’t stress if something gets overlooked, you aren’t super-mum and neither is anyone else.

Participation costs are one of the biggest barriers for young people accessing sport, with a growing divide existing between families who can afford to participate and those who cannot. Here are some of the eight most popular sports and their comparative accessibility.

 Australian parents are spending around $1,800 on average on extracurricular activities, a national expense of $3.8 billion, according to Mozo. Additionally, the Australian Sport Commission has found that roughly $11 billion is spent a year on sport participation fees. A survey conducted by the ABC found that participants were paying over $1,100 on average to play sport each season, with an added $450 on average for transport costs, meaning the average person spent around $1,500 on sport per season.

Registration costs amount to around $225 annually, plus an added $200 spend on uniforms and lessons. These increasing costs make the commitment to enrol your child into sports a difficult one. In 2016, AusPlay found that 70% of Australian children participated in sport outside of school hours, meaning the accessibility to sport is necessary for healthy development and comparison.

Mozo found that equestrian was the most expensive activity, costing on average $3,280 a year. Swimming comes in as the most common sport for Australian kids, with 33.9% of girls and 29.8% of boys who participate in an out-of-school activity picking the pool over anything else. 

boy diving into swimming pool

Australian Rules Football

Participating in Aussie rules is relatively inexpensive in comparison to other sports. Minimal gear is needed, with only studded boots and a mouthguard required to join a club. Registration for most clubs is usually around $100-300, uniform inclusive.

Junior games have quarters of 12 minutes, so match days do not last much longer than an hour and a half at most. Whilst AFL is a contact sport, junior levels modify or eliminate tackling and bumping rules to make it a safe choice for your children. Junior AFL is focused on having fun and developing skills, disregarding finals and rankings at the end of the season.

Netball

Netball comes in as one of the cheapest sports to get your kids involved in, at roughly $435 a year. Memberships amount to $60 a year, plus club registrations, sit at under $150 a year for juniors. This no contact, easy to learn team sport is relatively quick too, with 8-minute quarters for the little ones and the game lasting no more than 40 minutes.

Swimming

AusPlay found that swimming was the top organised out-of-school physical activity for Australian children in 2017, with 31.8% of kids participating. Swimming competitions begin at 9am at the latest on the weekends. These early wake-ups are not always the most attractive option, but minimal equipment is needed for the sport and entry to events is relatively inexpensive, at $20 per athletes. Roughly $694 is spent by participants each year, coming in the middle ground of costs for sports.kid playing soccer as goalieSoccer

Soccer is the number one team sport in Australia for kids aged 6-13, with 48.7% of those who participate in a team sport choosing this sport. 14.1% of kids chose soccer as an out-of-school activity compared to other recreational activities, with AFL at 8.8% in comparison. Registration fees vary from $200-500 per year, and including equipment and uniform necessary the sport costs roughly $800 annually.

Games will take around an hour and a half per week, and training sessions once or twice a week of an hour. This is a reasonable option and a popular team sport where your kids can form new friendships easily.

Tennis

Tennis is a sport enjoyed by all ages, with kids starting from as young as three years old. As a lifelong game, it is a great non-contact family sport option. Tennis requires minimal equipment, only a racquet and good shoes. On average, it will cost participants around $836 per year.

The rule of thumb for tennis practice is putting in as many hours as you are in years old, so for an 8 year old this would be 8 hours per week combined with games and training. However for those just wanting to learn a new skill or work on coordination, lessons are generally 30 minutes long, with Saturday morning tournaments going for about 2-3 hours.little girl playing tennis

 

Dancing

Dancing lessons are usually around $20 per class based on enrolment for a whole term, amounting to roughly $300 per term. This won’t include costumes and performance tickets, makeup and shoes needed to perform. Additionally, gymnastics is one of the more expensive sports, with beginners paying roughly $800 per year, not including competitions.

Dance is one of the most rewarding extracurricular activities for your child to have fun and make friends, but the more competitive they get, the more expensive it will become to fund. Dance classes on average are 45 minutes long, with most time consuming commitments coming at the end of the year with concerts and showcases.

Cricket

Cricket is a great team sport, with eleven players usually making up a team, but junior teams supporting 7-9 players. It is however, one of the most expensive sports for children to participate in due to the amount of gear needed such as pads, helmets, bats, balls and appropriate footwear. Registration is roughly $170 per year, and the sport costs participants $1,142 on average annually.

Cricket is also one of the most time consuming of these sports, with Saturday morning cricket matches lasting around 2-4 hours each week, with the potential for weather disruptions since it relies on sunshine and dry grass.

Golf

Unsurprisingly, golf comes in as the most expensive on this list of common sports for juniors. It is roughly $1,600 a year, a figure based on registration for courses and equipment costs – with most tournaments costing around $130-200 for juniors. A further drawback in accessibility for this sport is the time taken to complete rounds, with 9 holes taking up to 3 hours and 18 holes up to 6 hours.

two young ballerinas

A study by Ipsos found that 40% of parents believed their kids’ sport gets more expensive with each coming year. With rising participation and registration fees, analysis is needed into what sport or extracurricular activities will suit your lifestyle. Ensure you capitalise on back to school saving deals or discounts for returning to the same club to maximise your savings.


The summer holidays are almost at a close, and the back to school rush is fast approaching. It’s a busy time of preparation, buying supplies and packing bags. Save a few moments this January to carefully consider your child’s lunchbox by incorporating these useful tips from
JuicedLife.

1. Add colour

The easiest way to bring lunchtime excitement is to incorporate a range of vibrant colours into the meal. Create a rainbow explosion of green, orange, red, yellow and purple through a clever (and very strategic) choice of fresh foods. Encourage eating across the colour spectrum to promote the intake of various phytochemicals and nutrients. Snack-sized, pre-cut fruits and vegetables are easy additions, as are delicious micro-sized juice shots.

To make the process collaborative, consult with your child and consider colour-coded days. Maybe Tuesday could be “red day,” so stock the lunchbox with watermelon, whole cherry tomatoes and spaghetti bolognese sauce. Friday could be “rainbow day,” celebrating and signifying the end of the week. Play around with their favourite colours and engage your children in creating and brainstorming. Try to avoid repetition; keep it exciting!

2. Consider all the senses

Taste obviously plays a huge role in guaranteeing your child actually eats their lunch. Make sure you consider the crunch factor at every meal, as this chewing action stimulates satisfaction. Carrots, apples and rice crackers are great examples of healthy crunch.

The perfect lunchbox should incorporate and engage all the senses. Aroma is vital, so consider adding a little rose water or orange blossom to their drinking water for a pleasant lift. Avoid foods that might typically start to smell or go slimy, creating an unpleasant feel or appearance. Most children will eat with their hands, so include elements that are easy to pick up without too much mess and aren’t off-putting to touch. Importantly, ask for their feedback, particularly if they don’t eat something: why did they leave it? 

Colour adds to the overall visual appeal, but think about also presenting ingredients in creative ways to boost interest. Roll, wrap, plait and stack elements. Make it fun. 

3. Fill up on healthy, energy-boosting ingredients

To keep kids energised and raring to go at school, it’s important to fill up on the good stuff. Fruits and vegetables provide vital energy, vitamins, minerals, fibre and hydration. They aren’t high in protein and fats, though, which are also essential for satiation and overall health. 

So, make sure to also include healthy fats and protein, boosting brain health, immunity and physical energy. Don’t over-complicate it – staple additions are ideal, such as hard-boiled eggs, sliced cheese, avocado and lemon juice or olive oil, and pulled chicken. 

Avoid the temptation to rely on inexpensive starchy carbs when building your child’s lunchbox. Limit rice, bread, pasta, biscuits, crackers, etc. and instead choose simple and clean whole foods with minimal processing. While they are easy to reach for in the supermarket, they lack the health benefits and satiation required. 

4. Choose convenience (without sacrificing health)

 A healthy lunchbox shouldn’t come at the cost of your time and sanity – there are plenty of simple solutions that are low on preparation but high in nutritional value.

 Smoothies are a great and easy option for sustained energy, whether made at home (including various fruits and vegetables) or purchased from a health conscious vendor. Juices and smaller juice shots provide an extra boost and also enhance the lunch experience with a wide range of colours and textures. Protein balls and snack bars are perfect fillers and much-liked by kids, offering a little dose of natural sweetness without spoiling their appetite for the next meal. 

 

Other great snack options can be made from the leftovers sitting in your fridge or pantry. Additional protein hits are great morsels to include, but also consider slices of tray bakes from the previous nights’ dinner or muesli pressed into balls or bars. 

Most importantly, have fun with your lunchbox ideas. Explore hacks on Instagram, experiment with your child and kickstart a colourful, delicious and nutritious plan for 2022. 

 

 

 

The mentally draining clutches of COVID-19 in 2020 and 2021 meant that discussions surrounding mental health became universally more pervasive and de-stigmatised. However, as society begins to enter a more COVID-normal life in 2022, it is important that we continue to prioritise their mental health the same way we have had to for the past two years – and this is how.

For many, a new year means new resolutions, new goals, and a seemingly fresh start. Essentially, to use the age-old phrase, many approach January with a mentality of “new year, new me”. This isn’t an inherently damaging ideal. However, these new goals are often centred around the same aspects of life: starting the gym, eating clean or starting a diet, cutting out alcohol, managing finances or losing weight. Evidently, a survey demonstrated that 78% of Australians have set financial goals as their new year’s resolution, 30% have pledged to change eating habits and exercise more, and a further 28% have made resolutions to lose weight.

Conversely, only 8% of Australians made resolutions that prioritised their mental health, like meditation and practicing mindfulness – a significantly lower percentile than that relating to physical and financial goals.

Although 2020 and 2021 brought an emotional whirlwind of lockdowns, confusing vaccine rollouts and a seemingly never ending pandemic cloud floating over our heads, discussions surrounding mental health are more public than ever, with public health officers, professional athletes, celebrities and children collectively trying to break the stigma surrounding mental health – reiterating that it is okay to struggle. After all, 1 in 5 Australians will experience a mental health disorder in any given year.

Despite the renewed sense of optimism of 2022, with the promise of no more lengthy lockdowns and drawn-out restrictions – the pandemic is still upon us, and it is likely that many individuals still feel the weight of that on their mental health, despite being back to their “COVID-normal” busy schedules. Here are three ways – or belated resolutions – that will help you keep your mental health as a priority this year.

Lead with compassion rather than criticism

Compassion and self-compassion are some of the greatest ways to be kind to yourself, and in doing so, putting your mental health first. Broadly, being self-compassionate involves acknowledging negative emotions, mistakes and faults with kindness, rather than with criticism and judgement. Essentially, it can be separated into three components: self-kindness, common humanity – in the acknowledgement that suffering and failure are a universal experience – and mindfulness.

Research has shown that individuals who practice self-compassion have a direct correlation with lower levels of mental health symptoms, whereas lower levels of self-compassion resulted in higher levels of psychopathy. Moreover, it has been evidenced by a myriad of studies that self-compassion can have a wide scope of positive results as an extension of improved mental health: increased motivation, happiness, improved body image, enhances self-worth and fosters resilience.

One strategy to increase your self-compassion this year, is implementing self-love affirmations into your daily routines. Whether you have one affirmation that you tell yourself each morning, or a different one for different days, having a few phrases or mantras to counter negative thoughts is a good way to introduce the idea self-compassion into your life and in doing so, make your mental health a priority.

Narrow your focus and “just be”

When there are so many different factors that influence health and wellbeing, it is less overwhelming to focus on just a couple of those. Lisa Henderson, professional counsellor and mental health service provider, spoke to Forbes Health about her focus on “meaning making” to prioritise her mental health. She notes that it is easy to get consumed and overwhelmed by busy work, and in doing so lacking productivity, impact, and progress.

She notes that when she takes a step back, breathes deeply and prioritises the work that lead to the most impact and productivity – despite how busy it might make her, she feels fulfilled.

The New York Times reflected on this concept in May 2021, referring to this meaningful and impactful living as “flourishing”. After “languishing” was used to define the universal sense stagnation people were feeling during the pandemic, the term “flourishing” began to emerge as the opposite – a contentment and fulfilment with life that everyone hopes to achieve.

As part of one’s journey to flourishing, finding a sense of meaning and purpose among life’s busy tasks is a key strategy. In line with Henderson’s perspective, reframing the way you think about your busy schedule can improve the level of satisfaction and meaning associated with completing work. Some ways to do this include deepening workplace relationships and reminding yourself about what your job does to help others.

By changing the way you think about your tasks, you can alter the way they make you feel and in turn, help elevate your mental health – without trying to find a spare hour in your busy schedule to practice mindfulness, meditation or exercise.

Know that you’re not alone

Many individuals who are struggling with mental health, are known to suppress these emotions and attempt to carry on with their lives as normal – despite their potentially reduced capacity to operate effectively. Professionals note that this can often lead to other ways of coping that are unhealthier – like alcohol or drug abuse, emotional eating or shopping.

As mentioned above, 1 in 5 Australians are said to experience a mental health disorder in any given year. This statistic demonstrates that even though you may feel like it – you are not the only one suffering from poor mental health and talking openly about it is not something to be ashamed of.

One way to reinforce this in your lives is to speak openly about your struggles to loved ones – so that it is not something you feel as though you must hide. By letting your family and friends know that you are having a hard time, it relieves some of the pressure to be performing at your best and gives you time to seek help. As mental health issues become more de-stigmatised, many workplaces are also vouching for the normalisation and acceptance of “mental health days”, so as to relieve the shame attached to taking time for oneself and prioritising mental health.

If one good thing can be taken from our collective suffering in 2020 and 2021, it is the open discussions and focus on individual’s mental health – and a greater understanding of the amount of people who struggle with mental disorders. Whether our lives continue to be consumed by lockdowns and a pandemic or not, the need to protect our mental health will never be diminished, and by implementing some of these strategies and outlooks outlined here – regardless of if you think you need it – your mental health will thank you.

As always, if you feel as though you need to reach out for help, there are a number of services at your disposal:

Lifeline
24 hour telephone counselling service. Phone: 13 11 14 or Text: 0477 13 11 14 6pm – midnight AEST
www.lifeline.org.au/(link is external)

Kids Help Line
Confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged between 5 and 25. Phone: 1800 55 18 00
www.kidshelp.com.au/(link is external)

Beyond Blue Support Service – Support. Advice. Action
Information and referral to relevant services for depression and anxiety related matters. Phone: 1300 22 46 36
www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support(link is external)

Butterfly Foundation
Butterfly provides support for Australians who suffer from eating disorders and negative body image issues and their carers. Phone: 1800 33 4673
thebutterflyfoundation.org.au/(link is external)

 

Hot summer reads from well-loved and upcoming authors. Perfect for a day at the beach or curled up on the couch!

The Lost Daughter – Elena Ferrante
Harper Collins AU

Published by Elena Ferrante in 2015 and translated by Ann Goldstein, this novel is about the trials and tribulations of motherhood. Ferrante is the best-selling author of the Neapolitan novels including My Brilliant Friend.

The novel has recently been made into a film adaption by Maggie Gyllenhaal starring Olivia Coleman and Dakota Johnson. Add it to your list and then watch the film on Netflix!

 

Animal – Lisa Taddeo
Bloomsbury AU

Lisa Taddeo, author of bestselling non-fiction work Three Women has just published her first work of fiction. For fans of her previous work, Animal will surely not disappoint.

A novel about ‘women surviving men’, protagonist Joan is a much-needed anti-heroine for the #MeToo era whose mysterious life and musings will have you hooked.

 

Love and Virtue – Diana Reid

Ultimo Press
A stunning timely debut from Diana Reid, Love and Virtue tackles issues and ideas of sexuality, consent, feminism, philosophy and friendship.

Set on campus at a prestigious university college in Sydney this novel delves into the difficulties we all face as we come of age. Hard to put down, and one that will stay with you long after the final page.

 

The Younger Wife – Sally Hepworth
Pan Macmillan AU

Sally Hepworth’s signature interrogatory blend of the complexity of family, relationships and identity brings yet another exhilarating read in The Younger Wife.

Sisters Tully and Rachel are incensed when they find their still-married-to-their-mother dad has a new girlfriend. His new half-his-age girlfriend Heather struggles to win the girls over while hiding the secrets of her past. But, before long it is revealed that her soon-to-be stepdaughters have some secrets of their own.

 

Love Stories – Trent Dalton

Harper Collins
Much loved Australian author Trent Dalton set out through Australian cities and asked passers-by a question: ‘can you tell me a love story?’

A compilation of stories from individuals from all ages and walks of life detailing first love, heartbreak, divorce, betrayal and jealousy, and happy ever afters.

Sure to warm your heart, or bring a tear to your eye these short stories make for a perfect summer read.

 

After Story – Larissa Behrendt
UQP

Written by legal academic, writer, filmmaker Indigenous rights advocate and Eualeyai/Kamilaroi woman, Larissa Behrendt.

‘After Story’ explores relationships, culture and trauma in a story about a mother and daughter attempting to heal from the grief over the disappearance of their daughter/sister 25 years earlier.

The novel grants vicarious travel as the pair travel to London and a balm for the longing to heal broken relationships.

 

Detransition Baby – Torrey Peters
Allen & Unwin Australia

An extremely clever new novel from Torrey Peters focused on the suddenly intertwined lives of three women – transgender and cisgender – after a shock pregnancy sparks an interrogation into their feelings and aspirations toward motherhood, gender and sex.

 

The Things We See in The Light – Amal Awad
Pantera Press

 Journalist, screenwriter, performer and author Amal Awad delights with a stunning new novel.

The Things We See in the Light follows Sahar as she secretly departs her newlywed life in Jordan, back to her home in Sydney. Reunited with her childhood friends, Sahar faces new challenges as she attempts to start afresh, and her past comes back to haunt her.

 

Growing up in Australia
Black Books Inc.

 This stunning new anthology from Black Books Inc. features pieces from other collections including Growing Up Asian, Growing Up Aboriginal, Growing Up African, Growing Up Queer, and Growing Up Disabled in Australia.

A perfect read for adolescent and adult readers, this compilation showcases the diversity of Australia in insightful and touching ways. A must.

 

One Hundred Days – Alice Pung
Black Books Inc.

Award-winning Melburnian author Alice Pung presents a breathtaking novel about mothers and daughters, control and love.

16-year-old Karuna falls pregnant, not intentionally but not entirely by mistake. Her mother, overprotective and furious confines her to their commission flat to keep her out of trouble. As Karuna’s due date looms, questions of responsibility and identity fester between them.

                           

Every January, a line is drawn between those who celebrate Australia Day and those who protest it, raising important questions about our national identity and history.

In 1888, when then-premier of New South Wales, Sir Henry Parkes, was asked whether a centenary celebration was being planned for Indigenous Australians alongside the settlers’ celebration he responded, “And remind them we have robbed them?”.

Sir Henry Parkes did not want to remind Aboriginals that settlers had stolen their land. NSW State Archives.

Since that time, a debate has been ongoing: should Australia Day be celebrated or scorned?

For those who celebrate the day, it’s associated with a public holiday, fireworks, barbecues, and pool parties. It’s a celebration of Australianness. Those that protest it call it Invasion Day, Survival Day, or the Day of Mourning to reflect our brutal colonial past.

The origins of Australia Day: the non-Indigenous perspective.

On 26 January 1788, Captain Arthur Phillip, captain of the First Fleet of convict ships sent from Great Britain, raised the British flag in Sydney Cove to signal the creation of the colony of New South Wales.

‘The Founding of Australia’ by Algernon Talmadge (1937). State Library of NSW.

As Australia was being explored, John Batman, one of the pioneers in the founding of Victoria, settled at Port Phillip. He attempted to buy the land from the Indigenous people living there by entering a treaty with them.

Batman’s treaty was overridden by the NSW Governor, Sir Richard Bourke, who issued a Proclamation on 10 October 1835 that Australia was terra nullius – nobody’s land – even though Indigenous people had lived on the continent for at least 65,000 years.

John Batman’s treaty with local Aborigines which was later reversed by the NSW Governor. State Library Victoria.

Celebrating NSW’s founding 30 years later in 1818, the Governor gave all government employees the day off. Initially, only NSW celebrated the day of colonisation known variously as ‘First Landing Day’, ‘Anniversary Day’ or ‘Foundation Day’.

Other colonies celebrated their own beginnings in their own ways. In Tasmania – known then as Van Dieman’s Land – Regatta Day in early December acknowledged both the landing of Abel Tasman in 1642 and the state’s separation from NSW. In Western Australia, Foundation Day on June 1 celebrated the arrival of white settlers in 1829. South Australia held their Proclamation Day on December 28.

In 1838, 50 years after the First Fleet’s arrival, Foundation Day was declared Australia’s first public holiday in NSW.

Empire Day was introduced on 24 May 1905 – Queen Victoria’s birthday – to celebrate ties between Australia and England. On July 30, 1915, an Australia Day was held to help raise funds for World War I.

By 1935, January 26 was recognised as Australia Day in all states except NSW, where it was called Anniversary Day.

Agreement between Commonwealth and state governments to call 26 January ‘Australia Day’ across the country came in 1946 and, since 1994, Australia Day has been a national public holiday.

The National Australia Day Council (NADC), founded in 1979, views Australia Day as a celebration of “our nation, its achievements and most of all, its people”. It’s on Australia Day that new citizens are welcomed, and inspirational Australians honoured.

Australia Day: the Indigenous perspective.

On 26 January 1938, Australia celebrated the 150th anniversary of the landing of the First Fleet. As part of the celebrations, Indigenous peoples were forced to participate in a re-enactment of the landing.

As part of the celebrations, Indigenous peoples were forced to participate in a re-enactment of the landing.

Twenty-five Indigenous men from Menindee in western NSW were gathered up, placed onto a mission truck, and brought into Sydney. They were told that if they didn’t participate, their families would starve. To further ensure their participation, the men were locked in the Redfern Police Barracks until the re-enactment took place and, on that day, were chased by British soldiers with bayonets.

Indigenous men forced to participate in the 150th anniversary re-enactment of the landing of the First Fleet, 1938. State Library of NSW.

The re-enactments were only discontinued in 1988.

In response to the sesquicentennial celebrations, a group of over 100 Indigenous people protested the violence, dispossession, and discrimination that Indigenous people had experienced since 1788. They called it the ‘Day of Mourning’ and argued for citizenship, full rights, and better access to education for Indigenous peoples.

Aboriginal Day of Mourning, 1938. National Museum of Australia.

On Australia Day 1972, four Indigenous men set up a beach umbrella opposite Parliament House, Canberra, in protest of the government’s alienation of Indigenous peoples. Thus, the Aboriginal Tent Embassy was established.

First day of the Aboriginal Tent Embassy, Canberra 1972. State Library of NSW.

In 1988 – on the two-hundredth anniversary – when the country collectively agreed to celebrate Australia Day on 26 January rather than with a long weekend, Indigenous peoples renamed the day ‘Invasion Day’.

At the same time as Sydney’s bicentenary celebrations, more than 40,000 Indigenous people and their supporters staged what was the biggest march ever seen in Sydney.

The 1988 protest focused national and international attention to Australia’s ongoing history of colonisation and aimed to educate people.

Carried out in the same spirit as the 1938 Day of Mourning protest, the 1988 protest focused national and international attention to Australia’s ongoing history of colonisation and aimed to educate people about the poor conditions of Indigenous health, education, and welfare.

The 1988 Australia Day protest was the biggest march seen in Sydney. National Film and Sound Archive.

Why is Australia Day offensive to Indigenous peoples?

Aboriginal activist and lawyer, Palawa-Pinterrairer man Michael Mansell has accused Australia of exhibiting a double standard when it comes to Australia Day. While Australian soldiers who died at Gallipoli are revered with a public holiday and the erection of monuments, there are no monuments or holidays for the Indigenous people who fell victim to white settlers.

Protest by Aboriginal rights activists, Australia Day, Melbourne 2018. Getty Images.

Mansell points out that Australia is the only country that celebrates its national day based on the arrival of Europeans.

Australia is the only country that celebrates its national day based on the arrival of Europeans.

Australia did not become a nation until 1901 when the six, then-separate British colonies united to form the Commonwealth of Australia. Prior to the implementation of Australia’s Constitution, Indigenous peoples were not counted as citizens and, therefore, denied the vote.

It is argued that an official national day is meant to celebrate the beginning of nationhood which, in Australia’s case, is 1901. Therefore, for Indigenous peoples, the only significance of 26 January 1788 is that it was when the British set foot on, and took over, Indigenous land.

Gamillaroi and Torres Strait Islander woman, playwright/actor Nakkiah Lui, views Australia Day as a day of mourning for Indigenous peoples: mourning for the declaration of Australia as terra nullius; for those who were massacred; for those who were removed from their lands and oppressed; for those whose children were stolen. Lui also mourns the effects of genocide and colonisation that persist today.

Nun leading children of the stolen generation to march at the New Norcia Mission, Western Australia. Dumbartung Aboriginal Corporation.

In 2019, Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) data showed 46% of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples had at least one chronic condition that posed a significant health problem. The ABS also reports that the life expectancy for Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander males is more than eight years less than non-Indigenous males. For Indigenous females it is around eight years less.

Indigenous peoples are more likely to suffer chronic health conditions compared with non-Indigenous peoples. Australian National Audit Office.

For these reasons, many Indigenous peoples view Australia Day as painful, marking the beginning of colonisation. They have been protesting 26 January for a long time but, in recent years, more people – including local governments and community organisations – have joined the #changethedate movement.

Changing the date: will it change anything?

Calls to change the date of Australia Day have grown over the last five years. Much of the debate is drawn along generational lines.

In 2019, Australian National University’s Social Research Centre (SRC) found that 58% of Millennials and 47% of Gen Z were far less supportive of celebrating January 26 compared with 73% of Gen X and 80% of Baby Boomers who wanted to keep the date. The Silent Generation – those born before Baby Boomers – were almost unanimous in their support of retaining the date of January 26 (90%).

These figures demonstrate movement toward changing the date. Importantly, younger generations are more likely to be aware of Indigenous issues as there is more inclusive history taught in schools.

Woman at  Invasion Day march, Melbourne 2019. Chris Hopkins.

ABC’s Australia Talks National Survey 2021 found that a majority – 55% – of Australians are for changing the date “given the historical significance of that date for Indigenous people”. This was an increase of 12 percent since the last survey in 2019.

However, these results do not accord with a national poll conducted by Ipsos in January 2021 which found that half of Australians (48%) did not want the date changed.

Gamillaroi man Luke Pearson warns supporters of #changethedate not to forget that it is not just the date on which Australia Day is celebrated that is the problem; it is what is being celebrated on that date.

For Pearson, more needs to change before the date is changed. He considers changing the date to be the final item on a list that includes addressing higher incarceration rates for Indigenous peoples, health and education issues, housing, and unemployment. These things need to be dealt with first.

Changing the date does not change what happened on it.

The negative feelings Indigenous people have towards the date are not going to go away simply because Australia Day is moved.

Some, including some Indigenous people, suggest that the date should be retained, used as a time to reflect on our past and its injustices. That the day does not have to be either Australia Day or Invasion Day, it can be both: a recognition of the damage done by colonisation and a celebration of what a great country Australia is.

Dja Dja Wurrung Clans Aboriginal Corporation says Australia Day celebrations still cause trauma. Darren Howe.

What should the new date be?

There are a number of dates suggested that still celebrate Australia and Australianness, just not on a day that is painful for many Indigenous people. Here are some possibilities:

  • 1 January: the day Australia came into being on the Federation of Australia, 1 January 1901.
  • 18 January: the day the Supply, one of the first three First Fleet ships to reach Botany Bay, arrived.
  • 13 February: the date, in 2018, the government apologised to the Stolen Generations.
  • 2 March: when in 1986 Prime Minister Bob Hawke and Queen Elizabeth signed the Australia Act 1986, making Australia a fully independent, sovereign nation (it came into effect the following day).
  • 19 April: the date in 1984 when ‘Advance Australia Fair’ was proclaimed the National Anthem.
  • 9 May: the date in 1901 when the first meeting of the Commonwealth parliament took place and the day on which Australia became a self-governing, independent commonwealth.
  • 27 May: the date of the 1967 referendum that removed constitutional clauses that discriminated against Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders (‘Reconciliation Day’).
  • 3 June: the day the High Court overturned the doctrine of terra nullius and acknowledged native land rights (‘Mabo Day’).
  • 9 July: the date Queen Victoria gave her acceptance to the Constitution of Australia in 1900.
  • 30 July: the date of the first Australia Day in 1915.

Do we celebrate the old or the new? Or both?

Ultimately, it comes down what is more important: the 65,000-plus years of Indigenous occupation before 1788, or the 230-odd years since. Do we celebrate the old or the new? Or both?

The question ‘Do we change the date of Australia Day?’ involves the weighing up of complex social issues. It a question that, unfortunately, is not easily answered.

Moving into the tail-end of the summer holidays, this is the time where many kids will be getting bored and unsettled.

Fortunately, there are a range of fun ways to keep them occupied, from outdoor adventures to DIY projects and fun games at home.

Here are some easy activities to keep them entertained:

DIY home theatre

theatre
Photo Credit: Jeremy Yap on Unsplash

With the pandemic affecting the accessibility of theatres, many kids are missing the novelty of the movie-going experience. But there’s no reason why it can’t be recreated at home. These holidays, encourage the kids to build their own home theatre.

Simply pick a room in the home and all you’ll need is a projector to display your chosen film on the wall. Throw some popcorn in the microwave and there you have it – the theatre experience in the comfort of your home. The kids may even enjoy it all the more for its cosiness.

Act out a play

play
Photo Credit: Ashton Bingham on Unsplash

This is a great way to keep your child’s mind sharp before they go back to school, while also letting them have fun. It’s a great activity to get creative with – they could choose from a range of popular plays or even write their own script.

From Shakespeare to a Harry Potter play, there are options for all ages and interests. Plus, the whole family can get involved and make a day of it. To add to the excitement, you could invite relatives or neighbours to watch the performance.

Have a dance-off

dance
Photo Credit: Yan Berthemy on Unsplash

This is a fun activity for a group of kids to get involved in a movie-esque dance competition. It’s a simple way to encourage socialisation, while also tackling boredom. And, with the added bonus of physical exercise, it’s a no-lose situation.

The kids could make their own playlist and come up with some unique dance routines. The best part is, it costs nothing and can be done anywhere and with anyone. It could be a family affair, or you could encourage the kids to invite some friends over.

Outdoor sports

swimming
Photo Credit: Todd Quackenbush on Unsplash

There’s never a better time to get exploring outside than in the summer. It’s a great time to try out some outdoor sports like open-water swimming. Explore your local area – or travel further out to your nearest beach – and dive into the deep end. This is a great opportunity for the kids to hone their swimming and water safety skills. There are also other activities for those who’d like to stay closer to the shore, such as playing around the rock pools and looking for shells.

Bike riding is a great option to get outside, while also having fun. There are a range of bike tracks out in nature so you can hit two birds with one stone – get the kids in the fresh air and get them exercising. Other types of wheel-based activities can also be a fun solution to holiday boredom, from roller skating to skateboarding – it’s the perfect time to try out some new interests. It could even lead to a long-lasting hobby and reduce hours spent looking at phone and computer screens.

Set up an indoor tent

tent
Photo Credit: Kate Darmody on Unsplash

Making an indoor tent is a novel activity that will thrill kids of all ages. They can design the interiors themselves and could even watch movies or solve puzzles in their cosy new space. It’s a great way to incorporate family bonding time into the holidays and could even become a mainstay the kids to enjoy well into the future – it may even serve as a retreat for them during stressful times.

Festive fairy lights could be added to improve the aesthetics, along with music and colourful pillows to make the space welcoming. The kids could even create their own decorations to make the space their own.

Have a picnic

picnic
Photo Credit: Jarritos on Unsplash

It’s the perfect weather to head down to the park and get some family time in. A picnic is a fun way to get outside and it also gives you a chance to combine it with other activities such as walking through park trails, birdwatching or playing cricket in the park.

To really keep the kids entertained, they can even prepare the food themselves. From finger sandwiches to muffins to sushi – the options to get creative are limitless.

From Kim Kardashian to Meghan Fox, to Adele, flourishing female celebrity divorcees have generated a ‘chicness’ around the notion of divorce – reframing it as an opportunity for reinvention rather than desperation.

In an effort to escape stories of new Coronavirus strains, lockdowns and the general impending doom that has saturated the news cycle – many became drawn to the sugary celebrity gossip that 2021 had to offer. At the forefront of this, has been the narrative of celebrity divorce and the reinvention of female divorcees in the eyes of the public.

Every year brings the downfall of several A-list relationships, but during 2021, it seemed there had been more celebrity couples at the clutches of divorce than ever. Household names like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, Bill and Melinda Gates, Elon Musk and Grimes, Meghan Fox, Kourtney Kardashian, Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde, and of course Adele, all flourishing in the media limelight in the wake of their divorces.

However, it seems as though celebrities aren’t the only ones who went down the divorce route in 2021 – the stress of the pandemic and the clutches of lockdown presumably an influencing factor. Statistics have demonstrated that there was a 31% decrease in Australian marriages in 2020, and a 314% increase in couples thinking about separating due to lockdown – with another 4.1% increase in Australian divorce rates for 2021.

Although the acrimonious nature of divorce is not something to be wholly celebrated, with the saddening act of separating a family and dismantling a marriage remaining a tumultuous process, the rise of divorce – namely celebrity divorce – has begun to normalise the fact that separation can ultimately be a healthy thing, reframing the narrative from one of desperation and pity – particularly for women – to an opportunity for healing, growth, and reinvention.

This “Big Divorce Energy” made a resurgence in 2021, due to the myriad of celebrities who have faced the public in the months after a separation with an air of self-assurance, confidence, happiness, and sometimes even a Princess Diana-esque revenge outfit.

Kim Kardashian

The first of these celebs who have encapsulated “big divorce energy” has been pop-culture icon Kim Kardashian, who, after filing for divorce in February 2021, took to her trademark stomping ground, Instagram, with a new glow of confidence and contentment. Being her third divorce after previous separations from Kris Humphries in 2013, and Damon Thomas in 2003, Kim has demonstrated that she isn’t fazed by the sense of shame that traditionally ensconces divorce – let alone multiple divorces – but rather embraces the authority, self-assurance, and peace that it can ultimately bring.

Moreover, her rumoured new romance with comedian, SNL star and ‘serial boyfriend’ Pete Davidson – described as the epitome of a “manic pixie dream boyfriend” – further symbolises Kim’s desire for contentment, freshness and, most importantly, fun in her post-divorce era.

Meghan Fox

Another female celebrity that has thrived in the wake of divorce, is Meghan Fox. Although being separated from her former husband Brian Austin Green since 2019, she officially filed for divorce in November 2020. However, 2021 was when the public actually began to notice Fox’s “big divorce energy”, further exacerbated by the media attention on her impassioned relationship with rapper Machine Gun Kelly – or rather, her “twin flame” as she claims. Not only does Fox seem happier in her post-divorce whirlwind relationship with Kelly, but the relationship plays into this subversion of the divorce narrative that has placed many famous men in a position stereotypically reserved for women – seeing their partners move on with someone younger post-divorce in a very public way.

As we saw with Kardashian and Davidson and Fox and Kelly, there have been an increasing number of female celebrities who have sprung out of divorces into the arms of a younger man. Some of these include Kourtney Kardashian, who after her on-and-off marriage with Scott Disick, has settled down into a very public, very passionate relationship and engagement with Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker, and Olivia Wilde, who following her divorce from Jason Sudekis has been touring the USA with her new boyfriend Harry Styles. Whether these pairings are indeed rebounds, or true love, it is refreshing for many to see so many high-profile women owning their post-divorce relationship choices with pride, showing that after the draining process of divorce – a bit of youthful happiness and pleasure is still a valid and supported option.

 

Adele

Finally, another female divorcee that has – by the judgement of the public eye – thrived in 2021, is Adele. After going somewhat underground since her album 25, society re-entered an Adele renaissance in the lead up to the release of her 30, her most recent album, that was released on November 19th, 2021. After the public termination of her two-year marriage to producer Simon Konecki, 30 reflects on Adele’s experience during and post-divorce, and illustrates how it sparked a journey of self-discovery.

In her words, the album is completely centric on the ins and outs of “Divorce, babe, divorce.” By choosing to utilise her divorce as the overarching theme for the album, paired with Adele’s significant pop-cultural influence, the pop star aided in both normalising divorce at a younger age, and showing that despite the initial anxiety and sadness associated with the legal separation, it can ultimately be a chance to move forward, find yourself and achieve personal contentment.

https://twitter.com/queenadelesIays/status/1476938459277402112

This widespread support and admiration for these divorcees who show that happiness, not loneliness, can be the outcome of a relationship breakdown, exemplifies that divorce doesn’t have to be a sad account of a woman’s life falling to shambles. In our increasingly modern era where the concepts of relationships, marriage and monogamy are ever evolving, it is refreshing and potentially helpful to see that maybe divorce isn’t the patriarchal stereotype it has always been framed to be.

Throughout the Christmas and New Year period, we are inundated with holiday romance movies, overwhelming social calendars and expectations to look and feel, “Merry and bright”. But for those who are struggling with their mental health, affected by the wrath of seasonal depression, it can feel like anything, but, “The most wonderful time of the year”.

Traditionally, a time for eating, drinking and being merry, the festive season can come with a foreboding presupposition for those struggling with a mental health concern or personal crisis.

When everyone around seems to be in the festive spirit, seasonal depression can make the holidays particularly overwhelming, feeling like a period that needs to be survived rather than thrived.

The holidays have long been associated with seasonal depression, reporting a 40% increase of suicide in the days following Christmas. In accordance with a survey from YouGov,  a quarter of people say that Christmas makes their mental health worse, with an additional survey from the Mental Health Foundation, sharing that 54% of people are worried about the mental health of someone they know at Christmas. 

Whether coping with mental illness, COVID separation, grief or holiday burnout, when seasonal depression creeps in, it’s consequential to recognise and prioritise combatting the symptoms this holiday period.

Some signs and symptoms of seasonal depression include:

  • Tiredness or low energy
  • Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy
  • Changes in appetite or sleeping patterns
  • Feelings of immense lows and depressive feeling throughout majority of the day

Estranged relationships, disappointment of the year that has passed, as well as a range of other personal battles, are just some reasons seasonal depression may present itself. This holiday season, prioritising your health is the key to combatting any form of personal exertion.

Let go of preconceived ideas of what you are “expected” to do, instead alter and simplify the season to best suit  your circumstance, regardless of what that may be.

COVID Christmas

The uncertainty of COVID-19 has protruded ripple effects, seeping into the festive period, with many Australians spending their second year in a row apart from their loved ones. With travel and border restrictions still in place, not to mention the trepidation of COVID crisis entirely, it would be ignorant to view this holiday period without the present ramifications for the majority of Australians still suffering from the pandemic. 

COVID has interrupted and ultimately reshaped this year’s festive period, leaving many feeling unstable in their habitual safety nets of workplace, financial, family or living situations. The first Christmas apart from family, can feel somewhat un-conventional in comparison to the years that have passed. Although it may not feel entirely the same, managing your expectations and mindset, as well as applying a little outside of the box thinking, will go a long way this holiday period.

No two families are the same, and that goes for no two celebrations.  If you are separated from loved ones due to restrictions, stay in touch via phone and video call, as well as inventing outside of the box ways to stay connected and show gratitude for the ones you love, even if that is from a far.

Grieving throughout the holiday season

Grieving throughout the holidays will never be easy, as many become unwontedly aware of the absence of a loved one. As the holidays are a time to come together, it can be bittersweet for those who are grieving, often feeling the missing piece of a loved one and burden of loss far greater over the December to January period.

The expectations of a “perfect” season, that come in the form of favourite Christmas movies and sitcoms, celebrations and traditions can bring about reminders for those grieving wherever they turn. When you have lost someone you love, it is normal to have feelings of painful isolation, as well as incompleteness, grief does not disappear overnight in account of it being the holidays.

Healing is not an overnight process and taking the festive period at your own pace and dynamic is essential.If you are grieving this festive season, recognise the feelings as they pass, and importantly stay present with all that you love. It’s essential to express your emotions as a healthy mechanism and substantial influence in the healing process, this includes talking and crying it out, with those you trust or an experienced psychologist.

Expression, as well as placing emphasis on feeling grateful for anything positive present in your life, will offer alleviation from the heavy emotions associated with grief and tragedy.

Another strategy when processing grief, is to focus and become aware of the time you do spend with other family members and ones you love. Utilise, as well as cherish those valuable moments, as grieving can help to reminded us how precious our time is.

Reminded of the fragility of life as whole, being  present, as well as see beauty in the small and rare moments spent with the ones we love can be utilised in time spent with family and friends throughout the holiday season.

Money and Financial Pressure during the Holidays

The festive season can come at the cost of your wallet and bank account. From presents, celebrations and a little too much cause for celebration, the December to January period can often feel like a year’s worth of spending. This financial whirlwind, however, can be combatted with a little strategic plan and preparation.

Identify what is causing your financial stresses, and begin to take necessary action to alleviate as much worry as possible this Christmas. Communicating your financial worries to family and friends, is also important throughout the holidays. Not to be mistaken for complaining,  suggesting alternatives for gifting such as secret Santa as well as free alternatives when spending time celebrating, will go a long way when budgeting this holidays.

Head to Christmas on a Budget if you’d like more tips and suggestions for financial planning throughout the festive period.

Mental Health throughout the Holidays

Depression is the leading mental health condition treated by general practitioners in Australia. With Beyond Blue reporting a staggering 3 million Australians are living with anxiety or depression. With stress and depression said to arise in approximately 1 in 5 Australians as a direct result of the festive season,  it is evident mental health is fragile, and needs to be protected even at the best of times. Seasonal depression or holiday depression can occur due to the added pressure, expectation, and stress of the festive period. Typically characterised by low mood, self-criticism and low self esteem. 

Feeling low around Christmas is especially common among people who are unemployed (38%), divorced (35%) or widowed (31%).  Anxiety and loneliness are most prevalent among people who are aged from 25 to 34, at between 31% and 40%. People who are out of work also struggle more than other groups: 47% say they’ve felt stressed, 42% depressed and 39% anxious.

Visit https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/symptom-checker/tool/basic-details on advice for when to seek professional help when these feelings arise.

Managing and aiding seasonal depression 

Seasonal Depression may leave sufferers wanting to retreat and isolate themselves throughout the whole of the holiday period. However, withdrawing from social activities and situations will often only lead to feelings of disconnection, loneliness and worsening of symptoms of depression.

Connection and belonging are the most important ways to regulate your mental health. Combatting seasonal depression includes reaching out to close friends and loved ones, volunteering, or even simply being kind to strangers. These small strategies are proven to strengthen positive mood and reprogram feeling grateful this holiday period.

Be aware of personal strategies to combat the season such as staying healthy through eating well, exercise and relaxing when possible. Although it is the season for over-indulging, many find that binge eating or drinking take a toll on their mental and physical health. Moderation is key for surviving the holiday period, when normal routines are interrupted.

Although labelled  “the most wonderful time of the year”, the festive season, like any other period is improbable to be problem-free. Coping with any form of seasonal depression is best to be approached with realistic expectations. Whatever you or your loved ones are facing or struggling with over the holidays, remember that it is just one season of your story. You can plan and re-coup for the new year, re-writing your narrative, beginning with a new chapter called 2022.

If you or someone
you know is in crisis and needs help now, call triple zero (000)

Lifeline:  Provides 24-hour crisis counselling, support groups and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14, text on 0477 13 11 14 (12pm to midnight AEST) or chat online.

Beyond Blue: Aims to increase awareness of depression and anxiety and reduce stigma. Call 1300 22 4636, 24 hours/7 days a week, chat online or email.