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ENTERTAINMENT

Hollywood loves female superheroes

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The male-dominated superhero stratosphere is getting a makeover and female nerds rejoice.

For far too long, the superhero world has been dominated by men, with women generally being relegated to ‘sidekick’ or ‘love interest’. Even their names suggest a secondary position to their male counterparts: Batgirl, Supergirl, Spidergirl, She-Hulk.

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[T]hey serve as the ‘sexy element’ to the story – an excuse to draw women with massive busts and short skirts.

Although there are plenty of women featured in superhero comics, they don’t generally tend to be the most popular characters. Instead, they serve as the ‘sexy element’ to the story – an excuse to draw women with massive busts and short skirts.

But in recent years, Hollywood has bucked the trend to provide us with a mix of strong female role models, and for nerds around the world, life has never been better.

Here are some of our favourites.

General Leia and Rey

In 2015, Star Wars captured our attention with The Force Awakens, the first installment in their girl-powered sequel trilogy featuring Jedi prodigy Rey and resistance leader General Leia – who you may remember as Princess Leia from the original films. Only this time there’s none of this “Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope” crap – she’s taking care of business herself.

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Wonder Woman

In 2017, muscle-clad Amazonian warrior princess Wonder Woman charged onto the big screen and became one of DC Comics’ highest grossing films of all time. Indeed it did wonders (pun intended) for the studio whose movies had been losing out to their Marvel competitors until this badass showed up.

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Captain Marvel

In March of this year, supercharged blonde bombshell Captain Marvel and her cat sidekick ‘Goose’ rocked the planet, and blasted box office expectations on opening weekend despite major political backlash online. It is officially the highest-grossing female-fronted film ever, prompting Marvel Studios to dub it the ‘Number One Movie in the World’.

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Daenarys, Cersei, Sansa and Arya

For older teens and adults only, George R.R. Martin’s HBO series Game of Thrones is a haven of Athenian power. His fictional world of Westeros is overrun with iron-fisted female leaders such as the fiery Mother of Dragons Daenarys Targaryen, the cunning Queen of the Iron Throne Cersei Lannister, the Lady of Winterfell Sansa Stark and her bloodthirsty assassin sister Arya Stark.

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With so many butt-kicking women rocking the fantasy and sci-fi world, don’t be surprised if your daughter asks for a superhero-themed birthday party this year.

Nerds are the new norm 😉

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PARENTING

How to raise our children in the wake of #MeToo

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The #MeToo movement has exploded into the global conversation in recent years, supporting victims of sexual harassment and empowering them to speak up. As parents, there is now an obligation to educate our kids and empower them to be strong, respectful and educated young boys and girls.

The #MeToo movement started in 2017, when accusations against Hollywood mogul producer Harvey Weinstein created a ripple effect within the entertainment industry regarding sexual harassment and assault. Since then, the movement has trickled down into all layers of society. In the age of #MeToo, how do we help our children to navigate this social landscape and raise them to fearlessly tackle the world in the hope of a fairer future?

The movement has sent shockwaves through the workplace, encouraging women to speak up in the wake of sexual harassment and has also ignited movements such as #TimesUp. The initiative lays its intent bare in the first sentence on its website, which reads, “The clock has run out on sexual assault, harassment, and inequality in the workplace.”

“The clock has run out on sexual assault, harassment, and inequality in the workplace.”

Since the explosion of both #MeToo and #TimesUp into the public conversation, women who had been sexually harassed or assaulted shared their stories all over the world. The movements, which are driven by social media, have changed the conversation by allowing women who once felt like victims to feel empowered to stand up for themselves.

#MeToo has changed the conversation by allowing women who once felt like victims to feel empowered to stand up for themselves.

#MeToo isn’t only about women, and it isn’t only about adults. In the midst of this changing cultural landscape, there comes no better time to teach our children about empathy, relationships, consent and communication. The focus should not only be on raising strong, empowered girls; but also on raising respectful, caring young boys.

The focus should not only be on raising strong, empowered girls; but also on raising respectful, caring young boys.

Tips for raising empowered boys and girls: 

  1. Talk to your children about consent.

Teach your girls to set boundaries and teach your boys to respect them. Have open conversations that foster values of empathy, communication and respect. As a child, consent begins with ‘no means no’. It means teaching them to set boundaries, but also to respect boundaries set by others. It is not only the job for the girl to make a boy or man respect her. It’s these lessons that also need to be taught early to boys.

  1. Encourage both your sons and daughters to be upstanding for gender justice.

The time of #MeToo has been remarkable in the march towards gender equality. A recent study found that engaging with traditional ‘girl’ toys and entertainment (most notably Disney Princesses) can lead to reinforced gender stereotypes and increased vulnerability. Have open conversations with your children about these gender roles and encourage them to engage in all sorts of activities. Girls who play sports, wrestle and build Lego, as well as play with dolls, have a diversified notion of what ‘girls’ do and are therefore more likely to perceive themselves as strong, confident and assertive.

On the other hand, boys are taught to be tough, never cry and always be strong. As parents, we should strive not to reinforce stereotypes that indicate boys are ‘weak’ if they cry or feel emotions. Teach boys, as well as girls, that humans experience millions of emotions and its okay to feel the full range of them.

  1. Educate yourself

It is most important that our children have strong role models to look up to and guide the way in which they perceive themselves, gender stereotypes and social cues.

Of course, these simple tips won’t solve the problem or completely eradicate any notion of sexual harassment in the world that our children will grow up in – but it’s a start. If the next generation of children are instilled with these lessons from the beginning, then perhaps attitudes will change and the problem will be lessened in the future.

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WELLSPRING

Mindful parenting: Learning to respond rather than react

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This article by Charanyaa Gopalakrishnan explores the concept of Mindful Parenting, which is being able to understand our emotions not allow them to trigger our responses to our children.

Our brain is triggered when it senses danger or a potential threat, therefore making us react instantly to what is going to happen. Unfortunately, it can be tricky for our brain to understand what is an actual ‘danger’ to what is just a situation. In simple terms, it fails to know how to respond instead of react.

Mindful Parenting is a topic that I found immensely interesting wanted to explore, and has now become an idea that I wish to share. This is not about being a ‘perfect parent’, but rather about consciously being present at the situation, absorbing it and not getting hijacked by our emotions. This can be complex to get into our system and put into practice, but it has an immense impact on our children and their ability to be mindful about their behaviour.

Mindfulness in parenting is how we manage our behaviour and emotions to let children learn how they can manage theirs.

It maybe a simple instance of seeing our child having breakfast and fearing there may be a big spill to clean. Instead of responding, a jolt shoots through us making our reaction unpleasant. Many of these reactions are a reflection of our own childhood experiences and consequently this stress response can be triggered easily. When the receptor of stress sparks off, we are unable to get clarity in thinking and we fail to pay attention. As a result, our problem solving ability diminishes thoroughly. ‘Flipping out’ as a reaction occurs in no time and we forget how our children comprehend that. We fail to know how scary we appear in their eyes. Seeing how an adult reacts in distress becomes a negative learning experience for them. We need to teach our children that one can pause, think and respond as an alternative to react.

It also gives you the ability to take a step back and look at a situation rather than being highly impulsive and most importantly to improve your relationship with your child.

Mindfulness in parenting is how we manage our behaviour and emotions to let children learn how they can manage theirs. As parents, we must be regulated before we try teaching our kids. Sadly, when we are overcome by stress or exhaustion, we can be emotionally unavailable to our child. However, if we are carried away by our emotions we can give another chance to ourselves to consciously make a different choice – being present. While there are good days and bad days, there are definitely negative elements of being upset or angry. Mindful parenting is paying close attention to what one feels as a parent and responding in accordance with that without any guilt of past situations. Simply, focusing on what is now. This helps hugely in being aware of one’s own feelings, being more responsive to the child’s needs, and becoming better at modulating one’s emotions. It also gives you the ability to take a step back and look at a situation rather than being highly impulsive and most importantly to improve your relationship with your child.

If we are carried away by our emotions we can give another chance to ourselves to consciously make a different choice – being present.

In times of stress or feeling overwhelmed it is difficult to be the best version of ourselves. Our children can be expected to know these triggers. In order to tackle this effectively, we must know what the ‘hot spots’ or emotional triggers are. We may be most vulnerable at a particular time of the day or be unavailable emotionally. These are the situations that we must familiarize ourselves with so as to make the best choice to change our behaviour accordingly.

As previously mentioned, these are a reflection of our own childhood experiences. Perhaps your child behaves in a way that is against your beliefs, like throwing a tantrum at a restaurant where you feel embarrassment. Maybe it is evoking a childhood memory of your own, such as excelling academically and causing you to ‘react’ when your child fails. Your child’s behaviour may evoke a trauma in your life, for example if you had nearly drowned in a pool you may get paranoid every time your child gets into the pool while learning to swim.

Being mindful can help us understand both our children and ourselves in a huge way.

To get control over our senses and emotions we must first identify what the situations are that may trigger those ‘hot spots’ in us that are responsible for the emotional outbursts. Parenting is not a ‘one size fit all’, however being mindful can help us understand both our children and ourselves in a huge way. Understanding our feelings when we conflict with our child, taking a step back before giving a response in anger and listening before disagreeing to the viewpoint of our children are the essential factors to keep in mind. There will be times when we cannot control ourselves and we react in a certain way, which we regret later. We can always apologize to our kids in such a case, after all we are still in the learning curve and parents make mistakes too.

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TRAVEL

Howard Johnson Anaheim Hotel and Water Playground: The perfect hotel to explore Disneyland and California with the whole family

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We stayed at the Howard Johnson Anaheim Hotel and Water Playground which was ideal for our family. It was a short walk to Disneyland (the website said 8 minutes, but it was shorter for us) so we could walk to and from each day at our will. One day our 6-year-old son became overwhelmed with Disneyland, so he and I walked home late afternoon while his sister and dad stayed for the fireworks, and it was very safe and easy to do this, which I liked.

I chatted with other guests staying there who had much younger children and they particularly liked this hotel for its convenience, as they were able to visit Disneyland in the morning and return to the hotel for their children’s nap times, recharge, and then venture back out after lunch.

The hotel was very clean and modern. It seems most of the hotels in the Anaheim region are geared to families to accommodate the Disneyland market, as such I expected them to be well worn but this was not my experience of the Howard Johnson hotel.

The rooms were immaculate – clean, modern and well serviced – including a coffee machine, which I always appreciate.

We stayed in a double room which was spacious, including a family seating area, balcony and bathroom, with both a bath and shower (and fun kids bathroom accessories), which is useful with children.

This hotel is very popular, and family oriented with lovely grassy and treed outdoor areas, a large pool and a separate Pirate themed water playground, Castaway Cove.

The evenings were balmy and light until 8pm when we were there in July, so it was lovely to lay by the pool after a busy day at Disneyland.

There are many local dining options geared to the family market, including competitive pricing and “Kids eat free” options. There are also many delivery options for in-room dining, including tacos, Chinese, pizza, Italian, burgers and fries and more, which really suited us after a hectic day walking around Disneyland.

For more information visit www.hojoanaheim.com

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PARENTING

Are You Unintentionally Encouraging Sibling Rivalry?

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Encouraging Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry happens in most families, and for a number of reasons, but could parents be encouraging it by measuring one child against the other?

Siblings and sibling rivalry are often hot topics of discussion amongst parents. Every parent is constantly looking for ways to help their children overcome this issue. Sibling rivalry may stem from various reasons: academic achievements, personal reasons, and, as I recently witnessed: from parents.

In this article I will share how parents unknowingly encourage sibling rivalry, how to create healthy competition and friendship, as well as a special tip for fostering cooperation and kindness among your children.

Are You Comparing Your Children?

At a Diwali party last week, after stuffing ourselves with too many appetizers, the hosts started the ‘introduce yourselves circle’ where each family introduces themselves to the rest of the group as many were meeting for the first time. As one particular family’s turn came, the mother described her two daughters as such: “This is my eldest daughter. She is a friendly child and a top-scorer at school…and this is my younger daughter. She is very shy and studying is always the last thing on her mind.” Her comment drew chuckles from the crowd, but my heart went out to the poor child who had just been ridiculed in front of a huge crowd. As the party went on, I noticed the ridiculed child keeping to herself and the top-scorer child with several friends. I could not help but wonder if this was the start of a sibling rivalry caused by a parent?

A top rule for parents should be not to foster comparisons. As tempting as it may be to get your poor performer to model himself on his top-scoring sibling, don’t compare.

Comparisons can really intensify a rivalry. Your job is to help your child do his best. If he brings home a C+ over his regular C-, it calls for praise and reward. Teaching your children to respect each other’s achievements is a good way to foster friendship amongst siblings.

It’s Not All About Grades

If your less academically inclined child feels outshone by his sibling, encourage him in other areas. Encouraging him to develop his other talents will help him establish his own identity and boost his self-esteem versus him having to compete with his sibling on unfair grounds. This way, each child will have something to learn from the other. This gives more room for friendship rather than rivalry.

Remember to prioritize education rather than grades. Even if your children have different levels of intelligence, it’s important for you as a parent to consider all of them as intelligent.  When you begin to expect all your children to be smart and appreciate a challenge, they will actually be less competitive with each other.

Encouraging him to develop his other talents will help him establish his own identity and boost his self-esteem versus him having to compete with his sibling on unfair grounds.

No childhood is complete without some sibling rivalry. More than in the academic ground (young kids often turn a deaf ear when compared academically with their siblings or other kids), there is always some friction in the personal ground. While bickering is common and natural, it’s good to look out for issues that may grow bigger and alter a child’s personality in the long run. For example, all parents say that they love their children equally. My mum used to say that she loved me and my brother like her right and left eye. Which would you love more? But in truth, a parent always loves her children differently. Immensely and unconditionally yes; but almost always, differently.

With the youngest one automatically becoming the pet who gets away with murder, the oldest child is usually left carrying the burden of responsibility and blame. The little adorable baby that big brother always wanted soon becomes the object of rivalry. Such situations, if not corrected early enough, can lead to life-long rivalries. On the personal front, the older child will be wary and cautious in future relationships; while the younger one will always be in the habit of having his way.

A Special Tip: Fostering An Atmosphere of Cooperation and Kindness

A wonderful way for families to keep sibling rivalry to a minimum is to adopt something I once read about in a magazine. I did not have children then, but the idea seemed so simple I promised myself I’d use it when I had children of my own. In the magazine article, a parent of six (yes, six!) noticed that her children always seemed to be struggling with conflict. Instead of using the traditional method of parenting – lecture them about the rules, give them a smack or two, punish them – the tired parent thought of a more creative approach: documenting acts of kindness. Everyday, the children were required to look for kind acts happening around them. Each child was given a coloured paper on the fridge and soon there were long lists made. After being made aware of the acts of kindness around them, the children started to mirror these acts, creating a calmer atmosphere in the house. Reminding yourself of acts of kindness creates kindness in your heart.

In Conclusion…

With so much negativity stressed on sibling rivalry, many professionals believe that sibling rivalry is not all negative – in some cases it can lead to positive and healthy competition as well. Being competitive can bring out a child’s strengths when it comes to sports and other activities. A little coaxing to see if your child can beat his sibling’s score at a game of chess isn’t all bad.

There is always, however, a fine line that parents need to draw and maintain. There should never be competition in receiving a parent’s attention or love – some parents think it’s ‘effective parenting’ to display less affection to a child they are upset with and at the same time show extra love to the child’s sibling. Not only will the poor child start to dislike his sibling (who is an innocent party), the parents are probably next on the list too!

The article was originally published by koobits.com and has been republished with permission. View the original article here. 

KooBits develops digital tools and platforms to help children learn better. Visit koobits.com for more information.

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PARENTING

Text messages to parents can help boost children’s reading skills

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Boosting preschoolers’ literacy can be as simple as sending their parents a few texts – but it’s important not to overdo it.

That was the key finding of a recent study that was conducted of a text-messaging program developed at Stanford University that is meant to improve parental engagement. Kalena E. Cortes and Hans Fricke – together with Susanna Loeb and David Song – are interested in the best ways to improve children’s academic performance.

Through the program that was studied, parents get three types of text messages: facts, tips and growth text messages.

Facts include general information about important literacy skills and parent-child activities, such as, “Children need to know letters to learn how to read & write. Research shows that kids with good letter knowledge become good readers.”

Tips include actionable advice with specific examples of parent-child literacy activities, such as, “Point out the first letter in your child’s name in magazines, on signs & at the store. Have your child try. Make it a game. Who can find the most?”

Growth messages provide continuous encouragement to parents of preschoolers throughout the school year: “Keep pointing out letters. You’re preparing your child 4K (for kindergarten)! Point out each of the letters in your child’s name. Ask: What sound does it make?”

Discovering What Works

For our study, we wanted to know why the text-message program works and how to make it more effective. More specifically, we wanted to know if the advice being provided through the program was working and whether more text message tips would make the program even stronger.

To do this, we carried out a randomized experiment with 3,473 parents of preschoolers in a large urban school district in Texas. Four out of 5 of the preschoolers in our study came from families that are considered poor. Sixty-seven percent of the preschoolers are Hispanic and 28 percent are black.

We divided the parents of preschoolers into three different groups. The first group only got one text tip per week – on Wednesdays. The second group got the same thing as the first group, plus a fact message on Monday and a growth message on Friday. The third group got a text message five days a week. More specifically, this last group got a fact message on Mondays, a tip message on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, and a growth message on Fridays.

Three is the magic number for engagement

What we ultimately found is that three is the magic number for parent engagement. One tip is not enough and five text messages is too many. We found that parents who got one tip reported to engage less often with their children than parents with three text messages, but that five text messages were more likely to lead parents to opt out of the program. That is, parents who got five messages opted out at a rate of 8 percent, while parents who only got three texts opted out at a rate of 5 percent.

We also found that the effectiveness of the program to improve children’s literacy development, measured in 1-on-1 assessments, depends on how strong a preschooler’s literacy skills were in the first place. If children were lower performing, the single text message was not enough and in fact their literacy strength dropped compared to children whose parents received three texts. For instance, when children were asked to identify whether or not a word pair rhymes, lower performing children in the single-message program identified, on average, 0.6 out of nine word pairs less than those in the three-message program.

But those who were higher performing increased more in the single-message program – the one that offered just a tip – than in the three-message program, which included a fact, tip and growth message. As an example, the higher-performing children in the single-message program named around one common object more in one minute than those in the three-message program. The five-message program made no difference compared to the three-text program.

The bottom line is that for a text message program to work for parents, it pays to pay attention to what kind of messages are being sent and how often they are being sent. Parents of lower-performing children may benefit more from general information and encouragement, whereas parents of higher-performing children may only need tips on specific activities.

 

This article was originally published on The Conversation

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LIFESTYLE

Wine Mom Culture Is Hilarious, Relatable and a Giant Red Flag

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Wine Mom Culture

Wine Mom Culture has become a massive phenomenon, both in social media and in real life.  But is a culture that promotes drinking as a reward actually healthy?

“I’ll definitely need a glass of wine tonight,” I recently told a friend as I recounted a stressful week with my kids. “Parenting is making me crazy.” Though my friend laughed and nodded in agreement, I realized that, without thinking, I had personified a meme I have frankly always been disturbed by: The Wine Mom, the perpetually-stressed-yet-zany parent whose eyes are glued to the clock, waiting for the appropriate time to indulge in her nightly glass.

In recent years, the “wine mom” has both shaped online content and positioned companies to strategically market wine-themed products — and actual wine — to young moms.  In addition to content glorifying alcohol consumption, the wine mom has gotten her fair share of space in think-pieces pointing out why, exactly, a culture that promotes drinking as a reward is problematic for women. Although the ritual of a nightly glass of wine isn’t in itself automatically detrimental, it does speak to a broader issue: Drinking among moms is increasing, and joking about it undermines the problem.

According to a study conducted by the nonprofit research organization ChildTrends, the percentage of mothers who drank at least moderately spiked by nearly 25 percent between 2004 and 2014.  And among two-parent families in 2014, three percent of mothers reported routine heavy drinking. Whether women employ a single glass of Pinot or a whole bottle to abate their stress, “wine mom” gives them a permissive smile and a nod as they do so.

Photo Designed by Freepik.

And therein lies one of wine mom’s fatal flaws: Her caricature is both pointed and broad enough to appeal to women with a variety of drinking habits and histories. Wine mom simply likes to drink, and her buzz-inducing weapon of choice is almost always portrayed as a well-earned stress reliever. Without consideration of a woman’s past (including the potential of predisposition toward addiction), the meme paints a stressful picture of motherhood and, in so doing, prioritizes alcohol as both a reward and an escape — and therein lies the problem.

“The spread of the ‘wine mom’ across social media normalizes the idea that motherhood is stressful, but drinking will help,” says Whitney Hawkins, a Miami-based psychotherapist specializing in substance abuse and addiction. “There is nothing wrong with drinking in moderation, but the idea that drinking is the only way to get through motherhood is a damaging concept. It also completely leaves mothers who are prone to addiction out of the equation and makes alcohol consumption a normal means of dealing with the stress of motherhood.”

Molly Davis, life coach and author of BLUSH: Women and Wine, experienced “wine mom” culture before it evolved to a meme, and eventually saw the impact of looking to alcohol as an emotional escape. “When I was raising my daughters, almost every mom I knew drank wine almost every night,” she said. “Wine has become a very classy-looking coping mechanism for women to deal with stress, dull pain, and avoid uncomfortable issues, emotions, conversations, and relationships that are calling for our clear-headed attention.”

Davis’ own evening wine habit, she said, affected her relationship with her children. “My own daughters knew me with a glass of wine in my hand in the evening, and the smell of it on my breath when I read to them,” she told Brit + Co. “And while I didn’t drink my way through a bottle of wine at night, I do know that there were times that I wasn’t as present as I could have been for my daughters.”

While moderate drinking may make a more subtle impact on one’s personal life and family relationships, heavy drinking has more serious repercussions. Of course, there are long-term risks to routine heavy drinking, like alcohol dependence, liver damage, and certain kinds of cancer. But there are also more immediate physical and emotional repercussions to alcohol abuse. Beyond the potential of a brutal hangover, regular heavy drinking can cause dehydration, weight gain, sleep problems, and even increase the risk for mental health concerns like depression. In many ways, this means alcohol, especially when it’s abused, can actually make the problems women are trying to mask worse, which is a pricey tradeoff.

Along with the physical buzz that comes with it, alcohol significantly affects the brain. Because consuming alcohol helps shut down higher order brain functions and decreases rumination and thought, it can have a mental/emotional numbing effect that’s appealing in times of stress. However, experts say the continued use of alcohol as a coping mechanism can make matters worse over time.

“Alcohol is both addictive chemically and psychologically. This means that with continued use, especially during stressful situations, you can end up completely dependent on the substance,” said Hawkins.

There’s also the issue of building a tolerance over time with regular use of alcohol, which can also lead to alcohol abuse. Say you only need one glass of wine to relieve stress now. If you continue to drink regularly, you will likely need more alcohol to get the same effect over time, said Hawkins. This is why we see people who can put away a large amount of alcohol without becoming inebriated; their body has built up a tolerance.

Ultimately, Hawkins says the wine mom’s offer of escape by way of alcohol — though enticing in moments of stress —  isn’t worth the long-lasting repercussions. Like any other mode of self-medication, drinking to escape the hard parts of motherhood simultaneously glosses over and perpetuates deeper emotional issues.

“Using substances for mental health issues is a band-aid on a bullet wound. If you are experiencing feelings and emotions that are detrimental to your daily functioning, alcohol will not improve them,” says Hawkins. “It will only mask the feelings temporarily, leaving you with a headache and more problems in the morning.”

The article was originally published by  Brit + Co. and has been republished with permission. View the original article here.

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HEALTH

Addressing the Health Challenges Facing Mothers & Babies in Papua New Guinea

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Mothers and Babies in Papua New Guinea

Burnet Institute’s Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies is an important collabrative program designed to respond to the unfinished work of addressing the high rate of maternal and newborn deaths in Papua New Guinea.

When women in Australia ponder their pregnancy and the upcoming birth of their child to be, they often think of the joys (and sleepless nights) they’re likely to face. We’re lucky that it’s rare to ever hear of a mother dying in childbirth, and whilst some families do face the horrendous tragedy of stillbirth or newborn death, it’s thankfully uncommon. We’re so fortunate to have excellent prenatal care and ready access to quality and timely healthcare throughout pregnancy and birth. But this is not the case in Papua New Guinea (PNG) where the maternal mortality rate is one of the highest in the world.

PNG is our nearest neighbour and so it is astonishing that the risks facing mothers and their babies there is so profoundly different to those we face here, just a hundred or so kilometres away. Around 1,500 mothers lose their lives as a consequence of pregnancy or childbirth per year in PNG, and more than 5,000 babies die in their first month of life. This is a devastating reality for families in PNG.

The good news is that one of Australia’s leading medical research organisations, the Melbourne-based Burnet Institute is working hard to change this. The Burnet has been working in PNG for close to 20 years. The cornerstone of their work in PNG is Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies research program (HMHB), which is designed to help women and their babies have the best chance of surviving childbirth and give babies the best start possible to then thrive through childhood.

PNG is our nearest neighbour and so it is astonishing that the risks facing mothers and their babies there is so profoundly different to those we face here, just a hundred or so kilometres away.

There are many factors that contribute to PNG’s very high mortality rates, rugged geography and poor infrastructure, especially in rural and remote areas, can mean access to health care is very difficult. There can be a lack of understanding around the importance of antenatal care with many women attending clinics late in pregnancy or not at all. There can also be small but significant financial constraints on families, which add to the burden of travel or the cost of accessing care, or there could also be the lack of partner support, or a preference for traditional birthing practices within villages.

All these issues can be further complicated by the complexity surrounding common diseases that are often present such as malaria, undiagnosed sexually transmissible infections, tuberculosis as well as malnutrition and high levels of anaemia, all of which can contribute to poor maternal and newborn outcomes.

 

Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies is working towards a healthier PNG, focusing on improving outcomes for women and babies in order to save lives. It is a broad research program examining medical causes and behavioural risk factors for poor health, and also looking at social factors influencing health, the provision of health services, and how to encourage effective uptake of services.

Our team of researchers is working alongside local facilities and communities to better understand some of the difficult issues that contribute to poor health outcomes for women and babies in PNG. HMHB is aiming to identify what the main drivers are for poor maternal and newborn health, especially for babies being born too small. Babies born too small, either because they haven’t been able to grow adequately in pregnancy or because they’re born too soon, face a much higher risk of dying in childbirth or early infancy. For those babies who make it through, they face a higher risk of poor growth and development in childhood, often referred to as stunting.

Around 1,500 mothers lose their lives as a consequence of pregnancy or childbirth per year in PNG, and more than 5,000 babies die in their first month of life.

Burnet’s Senior Researcher, Dr Michelle Scoullar, has been working on the Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies program since 2014, and having lived and worked in Papua New Guinea, understands just how difficult it can be to improve a system that is so complex.

“There are many gaps in our understanding, but through our Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies program we are already identifying some of the key issues that are impacting on mothers and babies that can be targeted to improve their health,” Dr Scoullar says.

“As part of our first study, we have recruited 700 pregnant women in East New Britain Province and we’re following them from their first antenatal clinic visit, through to their labour, and then also seeing them and their baby at one month, six months and at 12 months.

“At each visit we’re taking a whole series of blood tests and swabs, and growth measurements to identify any issues such as infectious diseases, anaemia, nutritional deficiencies and stunting.”

Photo: Some of Burnet’s Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies research team including (right to left) Rose Suruka, Lucy Au and Elizabeth Walep together with Sr. Jacklyn Telo.

We’re also interviewing families and healthcare workers identifying barriers to families accessing available health care, and looking at ways to improve the quality of services currently provided, all factors that ultimately influence outcomes for mothers and babies.

One key issue that has arisen from our study is the significant lack of knowledge about family planning.

“Only one in four women interviewed as part of this study had used a modern method of contraception and we’ve found there is a huge demand for these methods of contraception but less than half of the demand is being met,” Dr Scoullar says.

“Supporting women and couples to plan for healthy timing and spacing of births is a cost-effective approach to reducing maternal and infant mortality and has proven benefits not just in preventing death, but also for gender equality, educational attainment and poverty reduction.”

“Were only part-way through the Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies program and very limited by funding, so any additional support from the Australian or Papua New Guinea community will help us make a huge difference to women and children in Papua New Guinea.”

Dr Michelle Scoullar is a paediatric doctor who is also completing her PhD as part of the Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies program.

For more information about the Burnet Institute and Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies or to make a donation go to burnet.edu.au or call (03) 9282 2111

 

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The Happiness Plan: How to be a Mindful Parent

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Mindful - Elise Bialylew

Doctor Elise Bialylew, author of The Happiness Plan, explains the benefits of parents developing a ‘beginner’s mind’ while trying to engage with their child’s world.

As humans we have a unique evolutionary advantage, with minds that can project into the future, solve complex problems and generate creative ideas that transform what is possible. However, this unique talent comes at a cost. With minds that are free to time travel between past, present and future, we get excessively caught up in future thinking that creates unnecessary worry in our lives.

But, in its most cultivated form, the mind can be a resource for our deepest happiness, and for the flourishing of all humanity – and the planet. We are only just beginning to understand the potential impact that meditation can have on the brain, but what is clear is that mindfulness, when practiced regularly, can lead to long-lasting transformation.

One key attitude in the practise of mindfulness is the ‘beginner’s mind’. This is the ability to bring a freshness to your experience, seeing things ‘as if for the first time’, which allows you to drop your assumptions, ideas and desires, and instead be completely open to your experience. I’m often reminded of this quality by my two-year-old daughter. When I took her to the snow for the first time, she became completely absorbed in her exploration. In mindfulness, we’re invited to bring this quality of attention and curiosity to our meditation practice.

Through beginner’s mind, the fog of ‘ordinary’ starts to lift, and we see our lives with freshness and delight. Rather than seeing what we think is there, we see what is actually there. This new way of seeing opens us to new possibilities as we step out of our self-limiting assumptions, beliefs and habits.

Imagine how bringing a beginner’s mind to just one day of your life could change how you experience your family, friends, work and the many aspects of your day.

Life can get so busy that it’s easy to take the people closest to us for granted, and not be truly present to them. The ‘beginner’s mind’ that we practise through mindfulness reminds us to wake up and experience the preciousness of those around us.

“The fog of ‘ordinary’ starts to lift, and we see our lives with freshness and delight. Rather than seeing what we think is there, we see what is actually there”.

Beginner’s mind helps me cut through the sometimes monotonous daily routine of motherhood and experience precious moments where my full presence meets my daughter’s, and I’m moved to tears. Looking into the deep, dark-brown eyes of this little girl, I’m overwhelmed by her purity and innocence, and the complete miracle of her existence. I’m aware that she is still very close to an original, non-separate consciousness that connects all living things; the incomprehensible intelligence of life is peering out at me, the intelligence that has transformed itself from an embryo into a complex human being.

Children are a potent source of mindfulness. These days my daughter is my main teacher as I navigate the extended, not-so-silent mindfulness meditation retreat that is motherhood. Some nights after book time, I lie with her and we meditate together. I’ve introduced her to the concept of meditation, experimenting with how much she can understand of the practice. We watch a teddy move up and down on her belly as she breathes, and she giggles with delight. Then we do a few Om chants together – there is nothing religious in this chant, we’re just enjoying the sound of singing in unison. We chant, ‘Om, Om, Om,’ as we gaze into each other’s eyes. To enjoy this stillness with a toddler feels almost holy, a rare moment, as we manage to maintain eye contact for a few minutes.

“These days my daughter is my main teacher as I navigate the extended, not-so-silent mindfulness meditation retreat that is motherhood”.

In these moments it often occurs to me that my partner, my parents, all the people in my life and the strangers I walk past in the street are also mysterious living, breathing expressions of consciousness. Yet somehow, as we get older, it gets harder to maintain this wonder about one another, this beginner’s mind. Somehow the complete innocence of my daughter seems to be a direct line to presence and pure consciousness. It’s this exact quality of being that we try to return to through the practice of meditation.

“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love they bloom life flowers.”
Thich Nhat Hanh

Here’s an exercise to practice stepping into ‘beginner’s mind’ with your child, amplifying your presence as a parent. This practice can be explored with toddlers as well as older children. 

1. Decide on a time of the day when you have 20 minutes and dedicate this time to being fully present to your child and activating your curiosity.

2. Ask your child what they would like to do and follow their lead over this 20-minute period without suggesting other options (assuming of course what they are suggesting is safe).

3. As you engage with your child see them as if for the very first time. Notice the tone of their voice. Notice whether or not they make eye contact. Notice the different facial expressions as you engage in this activity. Notice your tendency to want to suggest something other than what they are suggesting. Bring awareness to your own emotional state: notice if there is joy, impatience, a tendency to think about all the things you need to do, then bring your attention back to your child. Notice all the details of their physical appearance as if you were going to draw them.

4. After the exercise find sometime later in the day to journal about your experience. Reflect on these questions:

  • What was it like to engage with your child in this way?
  • How was it different to how you normally interact with your child?
  • What did you notice about your child?
  • What did you notice about yourself?

 

DR Elise Bialylew is the author of The Happiness Plan (Affirm Press, $24.99) and the founder of Mindful in May, the largest online global mindfulness fundraising campaign that features the world’s leading experts and raises funds for clean water projects in the developing world. A doctor trained in psychiatry, and a mindfulness expert, she’s passionate about supporting individuals and organisations to develop inner tools for greater wellbeing and flourishing.

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