N/A – Page 7 – Offspring Magazine

High school teacher and mum of two, Kristy Do, hits the Insta-generation with a truth bomb: fame isn’t everything.

Arshad Khan, Lee Minwei, Pietro Bosselli, Irvin Randle are some of the many people who have become famous overnight – and not for reasons that one might expect. For these celebs, it was the sheer luck of having a photographer capture them in a mundane moment, followed by their image posted on social media, ensuing a viral frenzy. Like many overnight sensations, luck dances its magic wand over the careers of certain people and promotes them to instant stardom. Whilst there is no judgment for those who have the limelight thrust upon them, there is an alarming message sent to young people: fame is easily attainable and the cost of that lifestyle is minimal. If only life were that simple.

As a teacher I often get students who claim their aspiration is to be ‘Insta-famous’ or some sort of public figure. My first response is to roll my eyes and ask ‘why?’

As a teacher I often get students who claim their aspiration is to be ‘Insta-famous’ or some sort of public figure. My first response is to roll my eyes and ask ‘why?’ Please don’t get me wrong. I love Iggy Azalea, I love Drake, I love (some) insta-famous models, but teens today now believe that butt implants and fast cars are the shiz as a result of these celebs. To the young, one million likes on an Instagram photo means you’ve truly made it in life (it’s a life us peasants could only dream of). When students allude to this as an aspiration with no understanding of the work involved, it’s enough to make any teacher lol.

We’ve all dreamed of being publicly acknowledged in some form or capacity – but desiring fame at the expense of pursuing one’s passions is a dangerous path to follow.

Craving fame is a stark reflection of one’s dissatisfaction with life and the desire to want to be noticed in the crowd. We’ve all dreamed of being publicly acknowledged in some form or capacity – but desiring fame at the expense of pursuing one’s passions is a dangerous path to follow. It’s important adolescents are encouraged to pursue careers that align with their skills and passions, regardless of whether that leads to fame. The notion that fame leads to happiness is a dismal one. One can only look at the lives of many celebrities today and see the countless men and women who are turning to alcohol and drugs because they can’t hack life in the spotlight. Being famous comes at a high cost to families, and one’s mental health. Teens need to know this.

No teacher wants to stifle the idealistic idea of following one’s dreams, but they do have a responsibility to lead students to realistic pathways and highlight where students might need a plan to follow that dream.

In the meantime, I’ll be over here waiting for instant fame as a Freelance Writer.

Kristy is a Secondary Teacher, Freelance Writer and mum to two kids. She’s passionate about inspiring young minds, story-telling, and double shot coffee.

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WELLSPRING

Mindful parenting: Learning to respond rather than react

By N/A March 28, 2019

This article by Charanyaa Gopalakrishnan explores the concept of Mindful Parenting, which is being able to understand our emotions not allow them to trigger our responses to our children.

Our brain is triggered when it senses danger or a potential threat, therefore making us react instantly to what is going to happen. Unfortunately, it can be tricky for our brain to understand what is an actual ‘danger’ to what is just a situation. In simple terms, it fails to know how to respond instead of react.

Mindful Parenting is a topic that I found immensely interesting wanted to explore, and has now become an idea that I wish to share. This is not about being a ‘perfect parent’, but rather about consciously being present at the situation, absorbing it and not getting hijacked by our emotions. This can be complex to get into our system and put into practice, but it has an immense impact on our children and their ability to be mindful about their behaviour.

Mindfulness in parenting is how we manage our behaviour and emotions to let children learn how they can manage theirs.

It maybe a simple instance of seeing our child having breakfast and fearing there may be a big spill to clean. Instead of responding, a jolt shoots through us making our reaction unpleasant. Many of these reactions are a reflection of our own childhood experiences and consequently this stress response can be triggered easily. When the receptor of stress sparks off, we are unable to get clarity in thinking and we fail to pay attention. As a result, our problem solving ability diminishes thoroughly. ‘Flipping out’ as a reaction occurs in no time and we forget how our children comprehend that. We fail to know how scary we appear in their eyes. Seeing how an adult reacts in distress becomes a negative learning experience for them. We need to teach our children that one can pause, think and respond as an alternative to react.

It also gives you the ability to take a step back and look at a situation rather than being highly impulsive and most importantly to improve your relationship with your child.

Mindfulness in parenting is how we manage our behaviour and emotions to let children learn how they can manage theirs. As parents, we must be regulated before we try teaching our kids. Sadly, when we are overcome by stress or exhaustion, we can be emotionally unavailable to our child. However, if we are carried away by our emotions we can give another chance to ourselves to consciously make a different choice – being present. While there are good days and bad days, there are definitely negative elements of being upset or angry. Mindful parenting is paying close attention to what one feels as a parent and responding in accordance with that without any guilt of past situations. Simply, focusing on what is now. This helps hugely in being aware of one’s own feelings, being more responsive to the child’s needs, and becoming better at modulating one’s emotions. It also gives you the ability to take a step back and look at a situation rather than being highly impulsive and most importantly to improve your relationship with your child.

If we are carried away by our emotions we can give another chance to ourselves to consciously make a different choice – being present.

In times of stress or feeling overwhelmed it is difficult to be the best version of ourselves. Our children can be expected to know these triggers. In order to tackle this effectively, we must know what the ‘hot spots’ or emotional triggers are. We may be most vulnerable at a particular time of the day or be unavailable emotionally. These are the situations that we must familiarize ourselves with so as to make the best choice to change our behaviour accordingly.

As previously mentioned, these are a reflection of our own childhood experiences. Perhaps your child behaves in a way that is against your beliefs, like throwing a tantrum at a restaurant where you feel embarrassment. Maybe it is evoking a childhood memory of your own, such as excelling academically and causing you to ‘react’ when your child fails. Your child’s behaviour may evoke a trauma in your life, for example if you had nearly drowned in a pool you may get paranoid every time your child gets into the pool while learning to swim.

Being mindful can help us understand both our children and ourselves in a huge way.

To get control over our senses and emotions we must first identify what the situations are that may trigger those ‘hot spots’ in us that are responsible for the emotional outbursts. Parenting is not a ‘one size fit all’, however being mindful can help us understand both our children and ourselves in a huge way. Understanding our feelings when we conflict with our child, taking a step back before giving a response in anger and listening before disagreeing to the viewpoint of our children are the essential factors to keep in mind. There will be times when we cannot control ourselves and we react in a certain way, which we regret later. We can always apologize to our kids in such a case, after all we are still in the learning curve and parents make mistakes too.

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DADS

At the clinic: The story of a sperm donor

By N/A March 28, 2019

Have you ever been in a situation that is so out of the ordinary that you can’t help but laugh, even if it might be serious? This story from Ben Tari is about the bizarre real-life experience of donating sperm to help a lesbian friend become pregnant.

I try to catch his eye to acknowledge the bizarreness of the ordeal, but without luck. There is no camaraderie. This is serious business.

“Well if he can’t make it happen, at least you know mine works!” It was crude but we laughed, as friends do. Then my three kids blurred past in a cacophony of squeals and Nerida’s smile faded.

“Actually,” she said, “would you consider it?”

So now I’m on the 17^th floor of a grey building in the city, in a waiting room surrounded by cream furniture and smoky glass, filling out paperwork about who can access my frozen sperm. The receptionist is appropriately professional, armed with a vocab that avoids words that could make the situation seem dirty, however, the repetition of the word ‘deposit’ makes me chuckle inside. The couple opposite seem earnest; I can tell they’ve been here before by the way they breeze through the forms. I try to catch his eye to acknowledge the bizarreness of the ordeal, but without luck. There is no camaraderie. This is serious business.

It all seems quite surreal and I can’t wipe the goofy grin off my face.

I’m handed a room key. It’s a chunky white plastic paddle with a red number one on it. Like a toilet key from a trendy cafe, so no one can walk in on each other. The nurse also hands me a specimen jar that seems kind of small, but I accept the challenge.

The ‘deposit’ room is a cross between a bathroom and a small hotel room. Except instead of a bed, there is a slick leather recliner like a dentist’s chair. It’s covered in paper towelling. There is a bright white sink next to which a stainless steel rubbish bin sparkles. There are two thick black folders of porn; one straight, one gay. A sizeable flat-screen telly looms on the wall in front of the recliner. The tilt of the chair and screen placement makes it like a cockpit but I decide against using the chair; there’s no need to mess up the place or have to clean. My aim is true. I screw the lid on and leave with a final glance to make sure I’ve covered my tracks; like a cat burying the evidence.

I see humour and wonder in the undertaking but I’m beginning to see that most cannot afford this luxury.

The corridor is lit supermarket-style, making me squint. I’m light-headed from the endorphins buzzing through my system as I lurch up to a sliding window and press the buzzer. A chirpy scientist in a lab coat smiles and offers to take my sample after signing more documents. It all seems quite surreal and I can’t wipe the goofy grin off my face. It’s way too early after a sexual act to be asked serious questions. The scientist can see my amusement. She rides a fine line between professionalism and a knowing smile. Her hair in a tight bun, serious glasses low on her nose and her doctor-esque outfit all combine to recreate a character out of the Black Label Penthouse I’d been gawking at a minute ago. Interestingly, I feel an overwhelming need to be held. And maybe chuckle. In a place that’s catered for everything necessary to procure my semen, is intimacy too much to ask?

For us, getting pregnant is about letting it happen and not getting in the way. The fertility clinic is the exact opposite.

Next week we have to go to counselling, my wife and I, where doubtless we will be asked many uncomfortable what if questions. We joke that Nerida is around so often at our house that the kid will believe they’re one of ours anyway; just another in the constant parade of ragamuffins. It’s going to be okay. For us, getting pregnant is about letting it happen and not getting in the way. The fertility clinic is the exact opposite. It conspires and calculates and demands that every personal detail be scrutinised, from ovulation cycles to sperm stalk numbers. All at a hefty price. I find it tricky to take the clinic seriously. Nerida finds it tricky to get pregnant. I see humour and wonder in the undertaking but I’m beginning to see that most cannot afford this luxury.

Author Ben Tari is a writer, actor, teacher and father of three. He gets his mojo from the power of stories and often finds humour in odd places.

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PARENTING

Foster Caring with MacKillop Family Services

By N/A February 20, 2019

Sue and husband Lee, from Melbourne, have been foster carers with MacKillop Family Services for two and a half years. They talk about their experience and the benefits of being foster carers, and how it has enriched life for their family and the community.

Between them, Sue and Lee have five children of their own, and friends thought they were taking on too much when they said that they were going to be foster carers, but Sue says the family has benefited so much from the experience.

Sharing their home with kids in foster care has enriched life for everyone in this family.

“It’s not about what you give, it’s all about what you get back”, insists foster carer Sue McLaughlin.

Sue and husband Lee, from Melbourne, have been foster carers with MacKillop Family Services for two and a half years, providing a safe and nurturing home for babies and toddlers.

“With four teenagers and one nine-year-old, foster care is a team effort with everyone pitching in and helping with the babies. Our kids have learned a great deal from opening their home to other children,

“They absolutely love having the babies to stay. It’s been such a positive experience for us and it’s taught the kids a lot about the wider world. We share age appropriate information with them about each little one that arrives, they understand that sometimes people need support and that’s why we are caring for the babies.”

Sue and Lee sat down and discussed how foster care works with their children before starting foster care training and she believes it has been hugely educational for them,

“Our kids are an enormous help to me and the babies just love it when they come from school as their big brothers and sisters are there to play. Some days I say to them, ‘Guys, I couldn’t have done this without you today.’ They just want to keep them all forever, but we talk about how we have the babies for a short time and it’s our job to keep them safe and as happy as possible in that time.”

Over the last two years, Sue and Lee have looked after two young children since they were six weeks and eighteen months old as well as providing emergency and respite care for other babies and toddlers when needed.

Sue’s kids have also become advocates for foster care among their friends and at their schools,

“They see the babies as their brothers or sisters but are also quick to tell people that we are a foster family. They are happy to explain to some of their friends who have not had any experience of foster care what it is all about and why there is a need. I am so proud that they are growing into compassionate people who have empathy for others and understand that people can experience difficult times in their lives.”

Sue’s kids have also become advocates for foster care among their friends and at their schools.

Children need homes for all sorts of reasons, sometimes it is respite care to give parents a break, sometimes parents are ill or in hospital and unable to look after their children. There are also situations where children may have been abused or neglected because the children are in a domestic and family violence situation.

Foster carers can be single, retired, studying or working and can rent or own their own homes. There are also many types of foster care. Care can be for a weekend, a few weeks, a few months or even years. Foster carers can choose the type of care that suits them.

MacKillop Family Services provides practical support to carers to support them to support the child. Intensive and ongoing training provides carers with a specific insight into caring for children who have experienced trauma. MacKillop also operates an after-hours service so carers can call for support 24 hours a day.

Babies, children and young people need all sorts of different homes, so if foster care is something that could work for you or your family, contact MacKillop Family Services who will help you work through the steps to become an accredited foster carer.

For more information, visit https://www.mackillop.org.au/

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PARENTING

Are Stay-At-Home Dads Changing the Status Quo?

By N/A September 27, 2018

Is being a mum the hardest job in the world? Stay-at-home dads are starting to say no!

The stay-at-home dads are rising: statistics from the census data show a 38 per cent increase in the number of full-time fathers between 2006 and 2018, increasing from 57 000 to 80 000. This now accounts for 4.6% of couple families with children.

Institute Director Anne Hollonds tells the ABC, “These stay-at-home fathers are a diverse group including dads with ill-health, a disability or who are out of work, as well as those choosing to stay home to care for children.” She adds, “Compared to mothers at home, stay-at-home dads tend to be older, with older children.”

But are these numbers enough to change traditional family roles?

Compared to the 80 000 unconventional fathers, there are still 298 900 stay-at-home mothers. Things are changing – but only at a snail’s pace.

Dr Jennifer Baxter, a senior research fellow at the Institute, notes that, “We still do have very strong gender stereotypes around caring that no doubt do make it difficult for some dads.” When considering the, “enjoyment and status and stimulation from work,” both women and males receive, she continues, “…we don’t necessarily expect to see massive increases in dads taking a really long time out of work to care for children.”

The stereotype of men being the main breadwinners is accompanied by financial obstacles such as the 23 per cent gender pay gap, as well as an increase in families where both parents work.

Many just aren’t in a position to change the status quo.

Professor Rae Cooper, co-director of the Women, Work and Leadership Research Group, acknowledges in the same interview that, “…unfortunately, things are still moving very, very slowly and are not catching up with our attitudes and our hopes and dreams about what we can access at work.”

Dr Baxter turns to the promotion of employment policies for long-term change. She explains these could reduce working hours for fathers and provide greater flexibility. Optimistically, these could one day see a shared role in caregiving and the true rise of the stay-at-home dads.

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HEALTH

Health insurance: the perfect family package

By N/A September 18, 2018

Choose the best health insurance cover that suits your family’s needs!

Whether you’re thinking about starting a family or you already have children, you probably want piece of mind to know you’ll have access to the medical services you need, when you need them. There are few things more important than our health, and while we do have access to a range of public health services in Australia, you’re likely questioning if it’s also worthwhile getting private health insurance.

Whether you’re new to health insurance or are reviewing your current cover, with so many health insurance providers and policy options on the market, it’s hard to know where to begin. That’s why we’ve developed this guide to help you choose a health insurance cover that suits your family’s needs.

Click here for more health-related articles on reading food labels, wine mums and parent mental health!

Why take out private health insurance?

The main reason families take out private health insurance is to have more choice and control over their medical treatment.

While Australia’s public health system does provide access to a range of services and procedures, if you want more control over your health and treatment options, you may need private health insurance. Private health can not only provide you with access to services that may not be covered under the public health system, it also gives you the ability to choose your doctor or specialist and where you receive your treatment.

Having private health insurance also means that you can potentially avoid long waiting queues you may encounter in the public health system.

Choosing your type of cover

The first step when selecting a health insurance policy for your family is to choose the type of cover you’ll need.

Generally, you’ll have three options to choose from:

Hospital cover – Hospital cover is designed to cover some or all of the costs associated with receiving medical treatment as an inpatient in hospital.
Having private hospital cover gives you the flexibility and choice of doctor and hospital you wish to be treated in. Plus you can also elect to be covered as a private patient in a public hospital.
Extras cover – Extras cover is designed to cover some or all of the cost of a range of other health services and treatments, such as dental, chiropractic, physiotherapy and optical.
Packaged Hospital and Extras cover– Packaged cover is a combination of hospital and extras services under the one product. Most health insurance providers offer packaged covers aimed at suiting the needs of different ages and stages of life.

Most policies also include emergency ambulance cover, however it’s important to note that some insurers include this with their hospital cover, while others include it as an extra. It’s best to make sure you know what your chosen policy does or does not cover.

Choosing your level of cover

While most private health insurers currently offer customers the choice between top, medium or basic levels of cover, the federal government recently announced some changes to the way policies are categorized to make it easier to work out the level of cover you need.

From April 2019, health insurers will need to categorise their policies into four basic tiers (Gold, Silver, Bronze or Basic) which are based on the items included in the policy and the level of cover they provide.

If you’re just starting a family and want cover for pregnancy or fertility services, you’ll need to opt for a Gold level of cover. Private Health Insurance policies have no lock in contracts, which means that you are able to review your cover and change levels whenever your life circumstances and needs change.

From April 2019, health insurers will need to categorise their policies into four basic tiers (Gold, Silver, Bronze or Basic)

Make sure you also consider any specified waiting periods when selecting a policy, as these will affect how quickly you can access some services (for example, most insurers will specify a 12-month waiting period for pregnancy, meaning you’ll need to plan well in advance if you want to give birth in a private hospital).

You’ll also need to consider any excess or co-payment you’ll need to pay if you are admitted to hospital. Policies with an excess will require you to pay the specified amount upon admission to hospital regardless of how long you stay there, whereas a co-payment will be calculated based on the number of days you are admitted. Electing an excess and or co-payment is often a good way to reduce premiums, so make sure that you ask the question, but make sure you are aware of any costs that you will be up for if you do need to go to hospital.

Choosing your extras

Budget is a key constraint for most of us when shopping for private health insurance, so if you’re looking for a way to reduce the overall cost of your policy, your extras cover is usually the place to start.

If you know that one or more family members will need regular access to things like dental, optical, physiotherapy or chiropractic treatment, your extras policy is likely to pay for itself over time. It’s always a good idea to consider the cost of your extras policy versus the total benefit amount you may claim for using the covered services. Each private health provider offers different levels of Extras cover, so make sure that you are getting generous cover that is good value for money.

Click here for more information: https://www.healthpartners.com.au/

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HEALTH

3 health symptoms you should never ignore

By N/A September 18, 2018

Be aware of these three health symptoms you should never ignore…

Most of us follow the rule that if we eat well, exercise regularly, avoid smoking, manage our stress levels and only indulge in moderation, we should be able to maintain generally good health and avoid major illnesses. However, knowing when you should and shouldn’t ignore a health symptom is also key to maintaining good health well into the future.

While none of us want to rush to the doctors’ office every time we feel a slight niggle or pain, there are a few health symptoms that often go ignored that should warrant a little more investigation.

Suspicious moles

In Australia, getting outdoors and soaking up the sun is simply part of our culture. Starting from childhood most of us can recall spending long days at the beach, playing outdoor sports or simply being outside enjoying nature, also continually exposing ourselves to potentially harmful UV radiation. As a result, almost all of us have at least some moles on our body.

Caused by an overproduction in melanin, while most moles are completely harmless, some may not be. Usually occurring in parts of the body that have been overexposed to the sun, melanoma is the fourth most common cancer in Australia, with one in 13 men and one in 22 women being diagnosed with the cancer which can be deadly if left unnoticed and untreated.

If you have a suspicious mole that you think could be cancerous, the warning signs to look for usually include a change in size, colour or shape, or if they begin to ooze, bleed or weep. If you notice any of these symptoms, you should see a doctor immediately.

If caught early, most people can have the mole removed and continue to live a long and healthy life, making having a regular mole check very important. If you do need to have a mole removed, the procedure is usually relatively straightforward, with places like this mole removal clinic in Melbourne able to remove the mole very quickly with almost no recovery time.

Major toothache

Have you’ve had a toothache for a while but haven’t got around to getting to the dentist to have it checked out? Don’t delay any longer. While there can be a range of causes of a major toothache, if the pain is being caused by gum disease or tooth decay, the longer you leave it untreated, the worse your condition will get.

When the bacteria, acid and food debris in our mouths combine, it forms plaque which can then lead to a range of problems. Dentists can usually find cavities during a regular check-up and treat them relatively easily by removing the decayed portion of the tooth with a drill, before repairing the hole with an amalgam, resin, alloy or porcelain filling.

However, if a cavity is left untreated for too long, it could reach the root or pulp of the tooth (which may have already happened if you’re experiencing pain) and require more major root canal treatment to also remove the nerve, blood vessels and tissue. You may also need a crown to replace the missing portion of the tooth.

Not only is a root canal procedure likely to cause a lot more pain and require a longer recovery period than a simple filling but it’s also likely to cost a lot more, so it’s well worth making an appointment with your dentist sooner rather than later.

Unexplained weight loss

If you’ve recently increased the amount of exercise you do or started paying more attention to what you’re eating, weight loss can be a sign that you’re making some great progress. However, if you haven’t made any major changes to your diet or exercise regime lately but have noticed you’ve lost a significant amount of weight, it could be a sign that something in your body’s not functioning as it should.

Unexplained weight loss could occur because of things like a thyroid issue, gut disease, rheumatoid arthritis or depression, or in some cases could be a sign of diabetes or even cancer. While you shouldn’t jump to any conclusions, it’s important that you see a doctor to try to identify what could be behind your weight loss so you can address any underlying health issues you may not have been aware of.

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PARENTING

Are You Unintentionally Encouraging Sibling Rivalry?

By N/A September 14, 2018

Sibling rivalry happens in most families, and for a number of reasons, but could parents be encouraging it by measuring one child against the other?

Siblings and sibling rivalry are often hot topics of discussion amongst parents. Every parent is constantly looking for ways to help their children overcome this issue. Sibling rivalry may stem from various reasons: academic achievements, personal reasons, and, as I recently witnessed: from parents.

In this article I will share how parents unknowingly encourage sibling rivalry, how to create healthy competition and friendship, as well as a special tip for fostering cooperation and kindness among your children.

Are You Comparing Your Children?

At a Diwali party last week, after stuffing ourselves with too many appetizers, the hosts started the ‘introduce yourselves circle’ where each family introduces themselves to the rest of the group as many were meeting for the first time. As one particular family’s turn came, the mother described her two daughters as such: “This is my eldest daughter. She is a friendly child and a top-scorer at school…and this is my younger daughter. She is very shy and studying is always the last thing on her mind.” Her comment drew chuckles from the crowd, but my heart went out to the poor child who had just been ridiculed in front of a huge crowd. As the party went on, I noticed the ridiculed child keeping to herself and the top-scorer child with several friends. I could not help but wonder if this was the start of a sibling rivalry caused by a parent?

A top rule for parents should be not to foster comparisons. As tempting as it may be to get your poor performer to model himself on his top-scoring sibling, don’t compare.

Comparisons can really intensify a rivalry. Your job is to help your child do his best. If he brings home a C+ over his regular C-, it calls for praise and reward. Teaching your children to respect each other’s achievements is a good way to foster friendship amongst siblings.

It’s Not All About Grades

If your less academically inclined child feels outshone by his sibling, encourage him in other areas. Encouraging him to develop his other talents will help him establish his own identity and boost his self-esteem versus him having to compete with his sibling on unfair grounds. This way, each child will have something to learn from the other. This gives more room for friendship rather than rivalry.

Remember to prioritize education rather than grades. Even if your children have different levels of intelligence, it’s important for you as a parent to consider all of them as intelligent. When you begin to expect all your children to be smart and appreciate a challenge, they will actually be less competitive with each other.

Encouraging him to develop his other talents will help him establish his own identity and boost his self-esteem versus him having to compete with his sibling on unfair grounds.

No childhood is complete without some sibling rivalry. More than in the academic ground (young kids often turn a deaf ear when compared academically with their siblings or other kids), there is always some friction in the personal ground. While bickering is common and natural, it’s good to look out for issues that may grow bigger and alter a child’s personality in the long run. For example, all parents say that they love their children equally. My mum used to say that she loved me and my brother like her right and left eye. Which would you love more? But in truth, a parent always loves her children differently. Immensely and unconditionally yes; but almost always, differently.

With the youngest one automatically becoming the pet who gets away with murder, the oldest child is usually left carrying the burden of responsibility and blame. The little adorable baby that big brother always wanted soon becomes the object of rivalry. Such situations, if not corrected early enough, can lead to life-long rivalries. On the personal front, the older child will be wary and cautious in future relationships; while the younger one will always be in the habit of having his way.

A Special Tip: Fostering An Atmosphere of Cooperation and Kindness

A wonderful way for families to keep sibling rivalry to a minimum is to adopt something I once read about in a magazine. I did not have children then, but the idea seemed so simple I promised myself I’d use it when I had children of my own. In the magazine article, a parent of six (yes, six!) noticed that her children always seemed to be struggling with conflict. Instead of using the traditional method of parenting – lecture them about the rules, give them a smack or two, punish them – the tired parent thought of a more creative approach: documenting acts of kindness. Everyday, the children were required to look for kind acts happening around them. Each child was given a coloured paper on the fridge and soon there were long lists made. After being made aware of the acts of kindness around them, the children started to mirror these acts, creating a calmer atmosphere in the house. Reminding yourself of acts of kindness creates kindness in your heart.

In Conclusion…

With so much negativity stressed on sibling rivalry, many professionals believe that sibling rivalry is not all negative – in some cases it can lead to positive and healthy competition as well. Being competitive can bring out a child’s strengths when it comes to sports and other activities. A little coaxing to see if your child can beat his sibling’s score at a game of chess isn’t all bad.

There is always, however, a fine line that parents need to draw and maintain. There should never be competition in receiving a parent’s attention or love – some parents think it’s ‘effective parenting’ to display less affection to a child they are upset with and at the same time show extra love to the child’s sibling. Not only will the poor child start to dislike his sibling (who is an innocent party), the parents are probably next on the list too!

The article was originally published by koobits.com and has been republished with permission. View the original article here.

KooBits develops digital tools and platforms to help children learn better. Visit koobits.com for more information.

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PARENTING

Text messages to parents can help boost children’s reading skills

By N/A September 11, 2018

Boosting preschoolers’ literacy can be as simple as sending their parents a few texts – but it’s important not to overdo it.

That was the key finding of a recent study that was conducted of a text-messaging program developed at Stanford University that is meant to improve parental engagement. Kalena E. Cortes and Hans Fricke – together with Susanna Loeb and David Song – are interested in the best ways to improve children’s academic performance.

Through the program that was studied, parents get three types of text messages: facts, tips and growth text messages.

Facts include general information about important literacy skills and parent-child activities, such as, “Children need to know letters to learn how to read & write. Research shows that kids with good letter knowledge become good readers.”

Tips include actionable advice with specific examples of parent-child literacy activities, such as, “Point out the first letter in your child’s name in magazines, on signs & at the store. Have your child try. Make it a game. Who can find the most?”

Growth messages provide continuous encouragement to parents of preschoolers throughout the school year: “Keep pointing out letters. You’re preparing your child 4K (for kindergarten)! Point out each of the letters in your child’s name. Ask: What sound does it make?”

Discovering What Works

For our study, we wanted to know why the text-message program works and how to make it more effective. More specifically, we wanted to know if the advice being provided through the program was working and whether more text message tips would make the program even stronger.

To do this, we carried out a randomized experiment with 3,473 parents of preschoolers in a large urban school district in Texas. Four out of 5 of the preschoolers in our study came from families that are considered poor. Sixty-seven percent of the preschoolers are Hispanic and 28 percent are black.

We divided the parents of preschoolers into three different groups. The first group only got one text tip per week – on Wednesdays. The second group got the same thing as the first group, plus a fact message on Monday and a growth message on Friday. The third group got a text message five days a week. More specifically, this last group got a fact message on Mondays, a tip message on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, and a growth message on Fridays.

Three is the magic number for engagement

What we ultimately found is that three is the magic number for parent engagement. One tip is not enough and five text messages is too many. We found that parents who got one tip reported to engage less often with their children than parents with three text messages, but that five text messages were more likely to lead parents to opt out of the program. That is, parents who got five messages opted out at a rate of 8 percent, while parents who only got three texts opted out at a rate of 5 percent.

We also found that the effectiveness of the program to improve children’s literacy development, measured in 1-on-1 assessments, depends on how strong a preschooler’s literacy skills were in the first place. If children were lower performing, the single text message was not enough and in fact their literacy strength dropped compared to children whose parents received three texts. For instance, when children were asked to identify whether or not a word pair rhymes, lower performing children in the single-message program identified, on average, 0.6 out of nine word pairs less than those in the three-message program.

But those who were higher performing increased more in the single-message program – the one that offered just a tip – than in the three-message program, which included a fact, tip and growth message. As an example, the higher-performing children in the single-message program named around one common object more in one minute than those in the three-message program. The five-message program made no difference compared to the three-text program.

The bottom line is that for a text message program to work for parents, it pays to pay attention to what kind of messages are being sent and how often they are being sent. Parents of lower-performing children may benefit more from general information and encouragement, whereas parents of higher-performing children may only need tips on specific activities.

This article was originally published on The Conversation

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FOOD & NUTRITION

Recipes for quick and easy lunchboxes!

By N/A September 11, 2018

Organise lunchboxes with minimal fuss and lots of healthy yumminess with these four amazing recipes!

Click here for more articles on nutrition, food portions, superfoods and health!

Recipe 1: 2 Ingredient Lunchbox Scrolls

If you want to make some fresh scrolls for lunch at home or lunch boxes, this is a really fast and easy recipe. Equal parts self raising flour and greek yoghurt, that’s it!!

Serves: 8
Prep time: 15 mins
Cook times: 20 mins
Total time: 35 mins

Ingredients:
1 cup Self Raising Flour
1 cup Greek Yoghurt

Instructions:
1. Preheat oven to 180C
2. Mix flour and yoghurt and make a ball.
3. Knead for a few minutes, adding more flour if mixture is too wet.
4. Sprinkle extra flour on bench, roll dough into rectangle

Mix ingredients together into a bowl to create dough. I add a little more flour if the mix is too sticky. Roll out onto a floured flat surface. I have made a double batch below and created a different variety of scrolls. One side is ham, capsicum, pineapple and cheese, the other ham and cheese.

Then roll up and slice into 2 cm thick segments, bake on baking tray until golden, approximately 15-18minutes.

Recipe 2: Mexican Chicken Salad Sandwich Filling

Ooh we so love Mexican in this household. The girls and I like most dishes as I make them, but the boys (so macho) like to add in extra dashes of chilli sauce or jalapenos. We often have chicken rolls for lunch on the weekends, but this took the traditional chicken and mayo roll to a whole new level. If you love mexican you must try this!

Serves: 8-10
Prep time: 10 mins
Total time: 10 mins

Ingredients:

1 tomato, finely diced
1 capsicum, finely diced
3 spring onions, finely sliced
1/2 cup tasty cheese, grated
2 poached chicken breasts or 1 BBQ chook, shredded
1/3 cup mayonnaise
taco seasoning, to taste
Bread rolls

Instructions:

1. Add tomato, capsicum, spring onions and cheese into a large bowl, stir
2. Place chicken, mayonnaise and taco seasoning into bowl and stir to thoroughly combine.
3. Taste and add more mayonnaise and seasoning if required
4. Serve on bread rolls. There is enough mix for approximately 10 rolls.

Firstly I combined a diced tomato, capsicum, spring onions and cheese.

Then added poached chicken(or BBQ chook), mayonaise and taco seasoning.

Serve on bread rolls… tiger bread rolls on this day, for a special treat!

Recipe 3: Fruity Bliss Balls

These Fruity Bliss Balls are nut free, which are ideal to put in the lunch boxes of kids who have a nut free policy at their school, store in the fridge for up to one week.

Serves: 18
Prep time: 15 mins
Total time: 15 mins

Ingredients:

10 medjool dates, remove seeds
1/2 cup raisins or sultanas
1 cup rolled oats
1 tablespoon cacao or cocoa
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
pinch of salt
coconut

Instructions:

1. Place the ingredients into a food processor.
2. Process on high speed for several minutes until the mixture sticks together like a paste.
3. Take small handfuls of mixture and make into balls, roll in coconut.
4. Keep in the refrigerator, enjoy.

My kids usually take 3 bliss balls in replace of a fruit, read more about my lunchbox packing guide.

Recipe 4: Greek Mason Jar Salad

I’m trying to mix up what I am eating for lunches during the week. Earlier this year I was stuck in a rut of making a sandwich every day. Now I take time to plan ahead and make sure I eat something different each day. I still have a sandwich, but another day I may have crispbread loaded with tuna, spinach, onion and tomato and then another day a mason jar salad.

Prep time: 10 mins
Total time: 10 mins

Ingredients:

1-2 tablespoons classic dressing
1 /3 cup chickpeas
Capsicum, diced
Cucumber, diced
Red onion, sliced
Cherry tomatoes, halved
Olives
Chicken, shredded
Fetta, cubed
Baby spinach, washed

Instructions:

1. Place all ingredients in the order listed above into a clean mason jar
2. Seal tightly, refrigerate and use within 5-7 days.

https://offspringmagazine.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/greek-mason-jar-salad-5.jpg

There is a special technique to the salad assembly to keep all the contents fresh. The vegetables and protein need to be layered in a particular way:

Layer 1 – Dressing
Layer 2 – Chickpeas
Layer 3 – Hard vegetables – capsicum, cucumber and red onion
Layer 4 – Soft vegetables – cherry tomatoes, olives
Layer 5 – Protein – chicken and fetta
Layer 6 – Salad greens – baby spinach

Words and Photos from:

Kat Springer

The Organised Housewife

www.theorganisedhousewife.com.au

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